Girls Jokes / Recent Jokes
Christian middle school for girls was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.
That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called several of the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day.
To demonstrate how much work they were making for the custodian, she asked him to clean one of the mirrors while the girls watched.
The custodian took a long-handled brush, dipped it into the nearest toilet, and proceeded to scrub the mirror.
From that day on, the problem of lip prints on the mirrors was completely eliminated.
there was a blonde, and a red head. the two girls bought a bull. they had 10 cents left. they needed a ride home. the girls decide to write a telegram.its 10 cents a word.so they spend a hour thinking of a word they can use.finaly, the red head said, comfortable! the blonde is stumped.the red head said com-for-the-bull!
Tips on Love (by kids, 5-10 years of age):
WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED? "Eighty-four, Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom."(Judy, 8)
"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife."(Tom, 5)
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date."(Mike, 10)
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." (Jim, 10)
"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours."(Kally, 9)
THE GREAT DEBATE: IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? "It's more...
According to a news report, a certain private school recently was faced with a unique problem.
A number of middle school girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man.
She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the maintenance man who had to clean the mirrors every night.
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.
He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.
Since then, there more...
Tips on Love (by kids, 5-10 years of age):WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED? "Eighty-four, Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom."(Judy, 8)"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife."(Tom, 5)WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date."(Mike, 10)WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." (Jim, 10)"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours."(Kally, 9)THE GREAT DEBATE: IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? "It's better for girls to be single more...
A guy enters a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I've never had three girls at once. I need something to keep me horny.. keep me potent."
The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label "Viagra Extra Strength" and says, "Here, if you eat this, you'll go nuts for twelve hours."
The guy says, "Gimme three boxes."
The next day, the guy walks into the same pharmacy, limps up to the pharmacist and pulls down his pants. The pharmacist looks in horror as he notices the man's penis is black and blue, and skin is hanging off in some areas.
The man says, "Gimme a bottle of Deep Heat."
The pharmacist replies in horror, "You can't put Deep Heat on that!"
The man says, "No, it's for my arms, the girls didn't show up."
Three girls died and were brought to the gates ofheaven. Upon entering the gate, they were haltedby St. Peter and his obedient angel.St. Peter asked the girls, "Before entering youmust answer this simple question." "Which is...?", they replied in unison. "Have you been a good girl?", he asked the first girl."Oh yes", she said. "I was a virgin before I gotmarried and was still virgin even after I got married.""Very good", said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl...the golden key.""Have you been a good girl?", he asked the second girl."Oh, quite good", she said. "I was a virgin before Igot married but was not after I got married." "Very good", said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl... the silver key.""Have you been a good girl?", he asked the third girl."Oh no, not at all," she said. "I practically had sex withevery guy I met before and after I more...