Girls Jokes / Recent Jokes

There are three guys sitting on the bench suddenly a devil appears and says give me your life by jumping from that cliff and I will give you 1 wish
The first guy went and jumped he said he wants to be the king of the world and he did
The second guy jumped and said i wanna be in a pool with lots of girls and he got in the pool with the girls.
The third one tried to jump but he tripped on a rock and he said oh shit and he fell in a pool full of shit.

There were three girls in a bar. One girl says...
"I can get a whole hand up my cunt!"
Then the second girl says "well, I can get a whole foot up mine!"
Finally, the other girl says "I don't mean to brag, but could you help me off this stool!"

Two young girls were talking about their sex lives when the first girl says, "Oh my god!, it was really great, but I was Sooo scared after his rubber broke. I didn't get a good night's sleep for a week.""What happened." Says her intrigued friend."I didn't know what I was going to do, but I was finally able to get the last little piece of it out with dental floss."

Bill Gates dies and is face to face with God. God says "Bill, I just don't
know what to do with you. You've done a lot of good but have also caused many millions of my subjects a great deal of anguish. I'll let you decide whether you want to go to Heaven or Hell". Bill says "Can I have a look at each before I choose?". God says "Sure". So God takes him to Hell and there are beautiful girls in small bikinis playing around a sun drenched pool. Cool drinks and sandwiches. Happiness and gaiety. God shows him heaven with angels singing to organ music.
Bill says " Hey, this is a no brainer. I'll take Hell anyday." A
year passes and God decides to visit Hell and check up on how Bill is doing. Bill is chained to a large burning brimstone and is in constant agony. God says "Hey Bill, how's it going?". Bill says, "God, you showed me beautiful girls in bikinies with sun drenched pool and cool drinks. Happiness and gaity for more...

There were three girls in a bar. One girl says..."I can get a whole hand up my cunt!"Then the second girl says "well, I can get a whole foot up mine!"Finally, the other girl says "I don't mean to brag, but could you help me off this stool!"

There was a blonde little girl who decides to see what her family is doing.So she goes upstairs to her sisters room. She is saying bitches and dicks the little girls asks"What does that mean" and the sister says Ladies and Gentlemen. SHe goes to her bro who is saying pusseys and penis. The little girl asks what does that mean, he says um, unbrellas and raincoats. Then she goes to he dad who then says shit the girl says what does that mean. He says it means shaving like I am doing now. Then she goes to her mom who is cutting a turkey then says fuck, the girls says whay does that mean, she says cutting. The door ring and she answers it. It is her grandparents. The little girl then says Hello bitches and dick may i grab your pusseys and penis my dads up stairs shitting himself and my moms in the kitchen fucking a turkey.

Santa Claus is making his rounds, and suddenly becomes startled by a
beautiful woman gracefully walking down the stairs in a very sheer
nightgown.
"Santa Claus, will you make love to me?" she asks seductively
Santa replies" Ho, Ho, Ho, Santa's gota go... Gota deliver toys to all the
good little girls and boys."
The lady, removing her nightgown is now in a very tight and lacy teddy
and again asks:"Santa Claus, will you make love to me?"
Santa, sweating now, gains his composure and still replies "Ho, Ho, Ho,
Santa's gota go... Gota deliver toys to all the good little girls and
boys."
The beautiful woman proceeds to take off the teddy, revealing her
worderfully formed nude body and again asks: "Santa Claus, will you make
love to me?" even more seductively
Santa, can't take it anymore and replies" Hey, hey, hey, Looks like
Santa's gotta stay...there ain't now way I'm getting more...