Glitter Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy was at a strip club, and he had glitter all over him, but he didn't know it. He got in his car, and drove home, and it was about 11:30 when he got home. His wife was standing at the door when he got home. He kissed her, then told her that he was tired and wanted to go to sleep.
His wife stopped him before he went upstairs to their room. She asked, "So why do you have glitter all over you?" Her husband thought quick and replied meekly, "Makin' you a card..."

A king with a 20 year old daughter lived in the biggest castle in his land. It was about time for her to marry. Every before she went to bed, she would put green glitter down on her vagina. Every couple of weeks he would call in 3 men from town and told them "Go in and have sex with my daughter. If you come out with green glitter on your dick, you will get thrown to the lions. If you come out clean, you will marry her." Many had tried and many had failed. This week, he called in 3 men. When each went in, gaurds would watch to make sure they really had sex. The first one went in and was in there for 1/2 and hour. When he came out, he was thrown to the lions. The second one went in and was in there for about 2 1/2 hours. He comes out and he also gets thrown to the lions. The third goes in with a big grin on his face. The king sat on his throne and waited about 4 hours before the man finally comes out. Suprisingly, he has no glitter on his dick. They get married later that more...