Throw Jokes

Laloo, Jayalalitha, and karunanidhi are on a long flight in an Air Force plane. Laloo pulls out a 100 Rupee note and says, "I'm going to throw this Rs. 100 note out and make someone down below happy."
Jayalalitha not wanting to be outdone says,
"If that was my 100 Rupee note, I would split it into two Rs. 50 notes throw them down and make two people down below happy."
Of course karunanidhi doesn't want these two candidates to out do him so he pipes in,
" I would instead take one hundred Rs. 1 notes and throw them out to
make 100 people just a little happier."
At this point the pilot who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore comes out and says,
"If I throw all three of you out of this plane and I'll make 100 crore people happy!"

A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain.
"What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?"
"Throw out an anchor, sir," the student replied.
"What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?"
"Throw out another anchor, sir."
"And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do then?" asked the captain.
"Throw out another anchor, sir."
"Hold on," said the captain. "Where are you getting all those anchors from?"
"From the same place you're getting your storms, sir."

1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or under the bed.
4. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
5. I will not eat the cat's food, before they eat it or after they throw it up.
6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to get sick.
7. I will not throw up in the car.
8. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. just because I like the way they smell.
9. "Kitty box crunchies", although they are tasty, are not food.
10 I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit thim in the backyard after processing.
11. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
12. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them!
13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the more...

Mahathir, Anwar and Daim are on a long flight in an executive jet. Daim pulls out a RM100 bill and says' I'm going to throw this RM100 bill out and make someone down below happy.' Anwar, not wanting to be outdone, says,' If that was my RM100 bill, I would split it into 2 RM50 bills and make two people down below happy.' Of course Mahathir doesn't want these two ministers to outdo him, so he pipes in,' I would instead take 100 RM1 bills and throw them out to make 100 people just a little happier.' At this point the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore, comes out and says,' I think I'll throw all three of you out of this plane and make 20 million Malaysians happy.'

One Saturday morning, Glen decided to go fishing.
He sat there for hours, but nothing. The bottle whiskey that he've took with him, was also empty. He throw the empty bottle into pieces against a nearby rock.
All of a sudden, there was something on the hook. He pulled the fish out of the water. The only fish for the day so far. The fish was so small, Glen decided to throw it back.
The little fish was so exited, to such an extend, that it decided to give Glen one wish.
He asked the little fish for some more whiskey. The fish said, "Allright then, when you're urinating, it will be pure whiskey."
So Glen sat there, and wonder, can this really be? Glen took a glass and urinate in it. It was pure, pure whiskey.
A while later, a women, who was standing nearby, comes to him and asks, "sir are you allright? I saw you drinking your own piss.
"No", said Glen, "it's whiskey."
The women laughed. He urinate into the glass, and gave more...