"Ways To Confuse Trick-Or-Treaters" joke

Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of
sand, etc.)
Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the
door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, "Trick or
Treat!" Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused.
Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it, "Top Secret" in
big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously, say,
"It's about time you got here," give them the briefcase, and quickly shut
the door.
Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters
come to the door, say, "Come in." When they do, have everyone yell,
"Surprise!!!" Act like it's a surprise party.
Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure
out what's wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an unnatural
"whirring" sound.
After you give them candy, hand the trick-or-treaters a bill.
When you answer the door, hold up one candybar, throw it out into the
street, and yell, "Crawl for it!"
When you answer the door, look at the trick-or-treaters, act
shocked and scared, and start screaming your head off. Slam the door
and run around the house, screaming until they go away.
Insist that the trick-or-treaters each do ten push-ups before you give
them any candy.
Hand out menus to the trick-or-treaters and let them order
their candy. Keep asking if anyone wants to see the wine list.
Get a catapult. Sit on your porch and catapult pumpkins at anyone who
comes within 50 yards of your house.
When people come to the door, jump out a nearby window,
crashing through
the glass, and run as far away from your house as you can.
Answer the door dressed as a pilgrim. Stare at the trick-or-treaters
for a moment, pretend to be confused, and start flipping through a calendar.
Instead of candy, give away colored eggs. If anyone protests, explain
that the eggs are the only thing you had left over from Easter.
Answer the door dressed as a dentist. Angrily give the
trick-or-treaters a two-hour lecture on tooth decay.
Answer the door with a mouthful of M & M's and several
half-eaten candy
bars in your hands. Act surprised, and close the door. Open it again in a
few seconds, and insist that you don't have any candy.
Hand out cigarettes and bottles of asprin.
Put a crown on a pumpkin and put the pumpkin on a throne on
your porch.
Insist that all of the trick-or-treaters bow before the pumpkin.
Dress up like a bunny rabbit. Yell and curse from the moment you open
the door, and angrily throw the candy at the trick-or-treaters. Slam the
door when you're finished.

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