Gold Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms.
Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.
"Olympic condoms?", she blurts, "What makes them so special?"
"There are three colors", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze."
"What color are you going to wear tonight?", she asks cheekily.
"Gold, of course!", says the man proudly.
The wife says "Why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!"
What's better than winning the gold medal at the special olympics?
Not being retarded!
What's better than winning the gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded!
whats better then winning the gold medal at the special olympics
Not being retarded
Michael Phelps won the gold in the 400 individual medley. Phelps swam so fast, ESPN had trouble keeping their lips on his butt.
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. When he arrives home, he tellshis wife about the purchase he's just made."Olympic condoms?" she blurts, "What makes them so special?""There are three colors," he explains, "gold, silver and bronze.""So what color are you gonna wear tonight?" she asks with a grin."Gold of course," says the proud man.The wife responds, "Why don't you wear silver - it would be niceif you came second for a change!"
In The News - Edited Excerpts from the LA Times
Includes one Leno quote
WARNING - may be offensive to Los Angelenos, horses, Yugo drivers
Congratulations to 17 year old Kim Rhode of El Monte, California, for winning the gold medal in trap shooting. You don't go to school in the LA area without learning to be a good shot. (Leno)
Turkey's tiny Nalm Suleymanoglu, the man they call the "Pocket Hercules", won his third gold in weightlifting. He has a brother who's an accountant, called the "Pocket Calculator".
Just to give you an idea of how cramped and tight things are in Atlanta, athletes are complaining they can't get around the Olympic Village, can't get around Atlanta, can't get around drug testing...
Children's TV producers have a meeting at the White House on Monday, which seems rather fitting - the 1996 election looks like Sesame Street and we have to choose between Cookie Monster and Oscar the Grouch.
The GOP is buying time on the more...