Gotten Jokes

Dear Husband:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Your EX-Wife
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a more...

It`s gotten so bad that even Alex Keaton would have shifted parties and voted for me this year.

I've sure gotten old. I've had two By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But.....Thank God, I still have my Florida driver's license!

I Found this on another website, it is soooo true =D
You call your dog Shinji and your cat Neko.
You perform a canon ball dive into a pool while yelling "Spirit Bomb!"
Your house has an anime room.
You and your friends flash peace signs and take girlish poses when you are happy.
You get an anime tattoo. Even though you're scared of needles.
Your walls are covered in wall scrolls and posters from your favorite series.
If you use the term 'Kawaii' for describing everything.
You try to convince your girlfriend that 'cat ears' and 'tail' really looks good on them.
You can sing songs from your favorite shows, in Japanese, even though you don't speak Japanese...
You spent hours looking through your library for a copy of "The Universe of Four Gods"
You have legally changed your name to that of your favorite character.
You wear a necklace and fall down every time someone says sit boy.
You insist on having an entrance that more...

These two guys had just gotten divorces and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again. They got up there and went into a trader's store and told him, "Give us enough supplies to last two men for one year." The trader got the gear together and on top of each one's supplies he laid a board with a hole in it with fur around the hole. The guyssaid "What's that board for?" The trader said, "Well, where you're going there are no women and you might need this." They said "No way! We've sworn off women for life!" The trader said," Well. take the boards with you, and if you don't use themI'll refund your money next year. "Okay," they said and left. Next year this guy came into the trader's store and said "Give me enough supplies to last one man for one year." The trader said, more...