Graded Jokes

Real teachers grade papers in the car, during commercials, in faculty lounges and have been seen grading in church.

Real teachers cheer when they hear April 1 does not fall on a school day.

Real teachers drive older cars owned by credit unions.

Real teachers clutch a pencil while thinking and make notes in the margins of books.

Real teachers can't walk past a crowd of kids without straightening up the line.

Real teachers have disjointed necks from writing on boards without turning their backs on the class.

Real teachers are written up in medical journals for size and elasticity of kidneys and bladders.

Real teachers have been timed gulping down a full lunch in 2 minutes, 18 seconds. Master teachers can eat faster than that.

Real teachers can predict exactly which parents will show up at Open House.

Real teachers never teach the conjugations of lie and lay to eighth more...

The story around Harvard was that there was a graduate math course whose final always consisted of, "Make up an appropriate final exam for this course and answer it. You will be graded on both parts."

Then one year, a student answered as follows: The exam is: "Make up an appropriate final exam for this course and answer it. You will be graded on both parts."

The answer is: "Make up an appropriate final exam for this course and answer it. You will be graded on both parts."

His reasoning was that since that was the best exam the professor could write, it certainly ought to be good enough for a student. He got an A. The professor specifically prohibited that answer from then on.