Grades Jokes

Little Johnny was getting bad grades in school. One day he stepped up to the teacher's desk, and announced, "I don't want to scare you Miss Finch, but daddy says if I don't get better grades... somebody is gonna get a spanking."

Here is a list of the ways professors here at the American University grade their final exams: Dept Of Statistics: All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.
Dept Of Psychology: Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.
Dept Of History: All students get the same grade they got last year.
Dept Of Religion: Grade is determined by God.
Dept Of Philosophy: What is a grade?
Law School: Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A.
Dept Of Mathematics: Grades are variable.
Dept Of Logic: If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A.
Dept Of Computer Science: Random number generator determines grade.
Music Department: Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the more...

For those returning to school, here is an inside look at how professors grade their final exams:

Dept Of Statistics:
All grades are fitted to a normal curve.

Dept Of Psychology:
Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.

Dept Of History:
All students get the same grade they got last year. Dept Of

Theology:
Grade is determined by God.

Dept Of Philosophy:
What is a grade?

Law School:
Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A when they really deserve an F.

Dept Of Mathematics:
Grades are variable. Dept Of Computer Science:
Random number generator determines grade.

Music Department:
Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat more...

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father who was a minister, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your bible a little and get your hair cut and we'll talk about it."After about a month the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss use of the car.They again went to the father's study where his father said, "Son, I've been real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your bible diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut!"The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know, Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair...."To which his father replied... "Yes, you're right...and they also WALKED every where they went!"

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it"
A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said, "Son, I'm real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your bible diligently, but you didn't get hair cut!" The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know dad, I've been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair." His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went!"