Graduation Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. You can name everyone you graduated with.
1a. Your graduation lasted 20 minutes.
2. You get a whiff of manure and think of home.
2a. You can smell the difference between different animals' manure.
3. You know what 4-H is.
3a. You were in 4-H.
3b. You can walk through the entire county fair in 15 minutes.
4. You ever went to "headlight parties".
4a. Your busiest intersection does not have a stop light.
5. You used to drag "main".
5a. You noticed when there was a new car in town.
6. You said the "f" word and your parents knew within the hour.
7. You schedule parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you know which ones will bust you and which ones won't.
8. You ever went cow-tipping.
9. You have gone to an auction as a social gathering.
10. You have ever partied with a guy who is 25, has no job, but is the "buyer" for all of the best parties.
11. You have more...

It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father. "I want a good picture, so try to make this look natural," she said. "Junior, put your arm around your dad's shoulder." The father answered, "If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?"

A Desi chap was deeply in love with a pretty foreign girl, whom he wanted. But he did not have the courage to talk to her in person. So he decided to go alone and with the help of a dictionary, he wrote a letter of proposal to her.
HE WROTE:
Most worthy of your estimation after a long consideration and much mediation. I have a strong indication to become your relation. As to my educational qualification, it is no exaggeration or fabrication that I have passed my atriculation examination; no doubt without any hesitation and very little preparation. What do you say to the solemnisation of our marriage celebration according to the glorification of modern civilisation and with a view to the expansion of the population of present generation.

On your approbation of the application, I shall make preparation to improve my situation, and if such obligation is worthy of consideration it will be our argumentation of the joy and exaltation of our joint more...

A Desi chap was deeply in love with a pretty foreign girl, whom he wanted. But he did not have the courage to talk to her in person. So he decided to go alone and with the help of a dictionary, he wrote a letter of proposal to her.

HE WROTE:

Most worthy of your estimation
after a long consideration
and much mediation.
I have a strong indication
to become your relation.
As to my educational qualification,
it is no exaggeration or fabrication
that I have passed my matriculation examination;
no doubt without any hesitation and very little preparation.
What do you say to the solemnization
of our marriage celebration
according to the glorification of modern civilization
and with a view to the expansion of the population of present generation.

On your approbation of the application,
I shall make preparation to improve my situation,
and if such obligation is worthy of consideration
it more...

A Desi chap was deeply in love with a pretty foreign girl, whom he wanted. But he did not have the courage to talk to her in person. So he decided to go alone and with the help of a dictionary, he wrote a letter of proposal to her. HE WROTE: Most worthy of your estimation
after a long consideration
and much mediation.
I have a strong indication
to become your relation.
As to my educational qualification,
it is no exaggeration or fabrication
that I have passed my matriculation examination;
no doubt without any hesitation and very little preparation.
What do you say to the solemnization
of our marriage celebration
according to the glorification of modern civilization
and with a view to the expansion of the population of present generation. On your approbation of the application,
I shall make preparation to improve my situation,
and if such obligation is worthy of consideration
it will be our argumentation of the more...

It's graduation day, and everybody's going to get their diploma but
Johnny. At the assembly, the entire senior class stands up and shouts "Let
Johnny graduate, let Johnny graduate!"
The principal agrees to give Johnny one last chance. "If I have five apples in
my right hand and five in my left hand, Johnny, how many apples do I have?" he
asked.
Johnny thought long and hard and then said: "Ten."
And the entire senior class stood up and shouted "Give Johnny another chance,
give Johnny another chance!"

Q: How many Lizzie's does it take to screw up a light bulb
A: I Dunno, but it only takes one to screw up a graduation ( from movie lizzie McGuire: she ruins junior high graduation)