Grammar Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1,331
1 to change the light bulb and to post on the mailing list that the light bulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
53 to flame the spell checkers.
156 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.
41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.
109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt.lite.bulb
203 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling and alt.punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.
111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs more...
Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1,3311 to change the light bulb and to post on the mailing list that the light bulb has been changed.14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.53 to flame the spell checkers.156 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt.lite.bulb203 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling and alt.punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this mail more...
Wee Willie was walking with Wanda, his new girlfriend, carrying her books home from grammar school. Both were eight years old. "Wanda," said Wee Willie with worshiping gaze, "you are the first
girl I have ever loved."
"Dammit," said Wanda, "I've drawn another beginner!"
Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1,331
to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed
to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
to flame the spell checkers
to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.
to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.
to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt.lite.bulb
to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling and alt.punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.
to defend the posting to this list saying that we are all use light bulbs and therefore the posts **are** more...
Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Exactly five hundred.
1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed.
7 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently or to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
17 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
21 to flame the spell checkers.
49 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.
20 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.
32 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt.lite.bulb.
69 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling and alt.punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.
41 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light more...
Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Exactly five hundred.1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed.7 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently or to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.17 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.21 to flame the spell checkers.49 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.20 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.32 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt.lite.bulb.69 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling and alt.punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.41 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this more...
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the
teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word
"beautiful" in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with,
"My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked
beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then
called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it
turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!"
Then, the teacher called on little Johnny.
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told
my father that she was pregnant, and he said,' Beautiful,
fucking beautiful!'"