Grand Jokes / Recent Jokes
Valentine's Day Story John Blanchard stood up from the bench, straightened his Army uniform, and studied the crowd of people making their way through Grand Central Station. He looked for the girl whose heart he knew, but whose face he didn't, the girl with the rose. His interest in her had begun thirteen months before in a Florida library. Taking a book off the shelf he found himself intrigued, not with the words of the book, but with the notes penciled in the margin. The soft handwriting reflected a thoughtful soul and insightful mind. In the front of the book, he discovered the previous owner's name, Miss Hollis Maynell. With time and effort he located her address. She now lived in New York City. He wrote her a letter introducing himself and inviting her to correspond. The next day he was shipped overseas for service in World War II. During the next year and one month the two grew to know each other through the mail. Each letter was a seed falling on a fertile heart. A romance was more...
Grand pa and grand ma were sitting on the porch rocking one day, when grand ma looked over at grand pa and slapped him up side the head.
Grand pa shook the cobwebs out of his head and said " Ma, what was that for?, Grand ma looked at grand pa and told him " That's for having a small dick!"
Grand pa nodded his head in disgrace. Then he stood up and knocked the hell out of grand ma. She picked herself up from the floor, set up her rocking chair, looked at grand pa with a shocked look and said "Pa, what was that for?"
Pa stood up and said " THAT'S FOR KNOWING THE DIFFERENCE! "
one day my friends grand mom went to the hospital by bus. her pocket lost in the bus. her came to home and scolled to one boy. my friend had ask grand mom do u know about thief. yes i know a boy standed near the my seat. he take my pocket. bad boy. grand mom said. where did u keep ur pocket grand mom? my friend asked. i keep it in my bresier son. grand mom says. so cant u understand when he insert him hand? my friend asked. i know iknow well. but i never think he take my pocket. grand mom said. understand????????????????????.
1. Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good. 2. Talk is cheap because supply exceeds the demand. 3. Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. 4. Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. 5. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They both should be changed regularly and for the same reason. 6. It's easier to fight for ones' principles than to live up to them. 7. I don't mind going anywhere as long as it's an interesting path. 8. Anything free is worth what you pay for it. 9. It hurts to be on the cutting edge.10. If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.11. I don't get even, I get older.12. In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.13. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.14. I am a nutritional overachiever.15. My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.16. I am having an out of money experience.17. I am in shape. round is a shape.18. Practice safe eating - always use condiments.19. A day without sunshine is like more...
Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
Commandment 2.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand - and divorce is at least 100 grand!
Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.
Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish talking.
Commandment more...