Grandfather Jokes / Recent Jokes

My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

Once two friends were boasting about themselves.
Banta Singh: "Once my grandfather's wrist-watch fell into a well. When it was pulled out after thirty years it was still running.".
Santa Singh: "So what is so great about it? Once my grandfather himself fell into a well, and after thirty years when he was taken out, he was still alive."
Banta Singh: "How can it be possible? What was he doing in the well for thirty years?"
Santa Singh: "Why not? He was winding your grandfather's wrist-watch."

A 60 year old man went to his doctor for a check-up. "You're in great shape," the doctor told him. "There's nothing wrong with you. Why, you may live forever; you have the body of a 35 year old. How old was your father when he died?"
"Did I say he was dead?" the patient asked.
The doctor was surprised and asked, "How old is he and is he very active?"
"Well, he's 81 years old, still goes skiing a few times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer," the patient replied.
The doctor couldn't believe it! So he asked, "Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?"
"Did I say he was dead?" asked the patient.
The doctor was astonished. He said, "You mean to tell me that you're 60 years old, and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?"
"He goes skiing at least once a season and surfing once a week during the more...

Pappu was in 2nd standard. In his english exam there was a question to fill up the blank space with the opposite of the word given in capital letters.....

Q: my grandfather is old, but my father is.......

Pappu answered.. My grandfather is old, but my father is new...!

Santa Singh and Banta Singh were discussing how they would like to die.
Santa said, "When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep. I don't want to die screaming like some of his friends, who also died at the same time."
Banta asked, "How did his friends die screaming while your grandfather died sleeping peacefully?"
Santa Singh replied, "His friends were the passengers in the car he was driving."

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves when the little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole.
He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole."

The grandfather smiles. "I'll bet you five dollars you can't.
It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."

The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Then he stuffs the worm back into the hole.

The grandfather, impressed with his grandson's ingenuity, hands him five dollars. .. then grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.

Thirty minutes later, the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another five dollars.

The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars?"
The grandfather replies, "Yes, I know. But that's from your grandma!"

A 60 year old man went to a doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, "You're in terrific shape. There's nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever; you have the body of a 35 year old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?"
The 60 year old responded, "Did I say he was dead?"
The doctor was surprised and asked, "How old is he and is he very active?"
The 60 year old responded, "Well, he is 82 years old and he still goes skiing 3 times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer."
The doctor couldn't believe it! So he said, "Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?"
The 60 year old responded again, "Did I say he was dead?"
The doctor was astonished. He said, "You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?"
The 60 year old said, "He goes skiing at least once more...