Grandson Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once upon a time, there lived a poor cap seller in a small village (in India): -) He earned his livelihood stiching caps and selling them in the neighboring villages. Once when going to another village through a forest, he fell asleep under a tree. When he woke up, he was surprised to find his basket empty and all the caps missing. Then he noticed a troop of monkeys sitting in the tree wearing his caps. He came up with a brilliant idea to retrieve his caps. He lifted the cap on his head and threw it to the ground. Out of their apeing habits the monkeys followed suit. The cap seller, then collected all the caps and triumphantly proceeded to the market.
As the years pass by, the cap seller has a grandson who too ends up being a cap seller. One day he has to pass through the same forest to sell caps in the village on the other side. As he is leaving, his grandpa tells him of the monkeys and how he outsmarted them and warns the grandson to be careful in the forest and remember his more...

One day, this young boy and his Grandfather were fishing in a boat out on a lake. The Grandfather pulls out a beer from his cooler and starts drinking it. The boy asks "Grandpa, can I have one of those?" Grandpa replies, "When your willie's long enough to touch your ass, then you'll be old enough and I will give you one."
A little later the Grandfather pulls out a long cigar. The boy asks "Grandpa, can I have one of those?" He replies " If your willie can touch your ass, then you can have one."
Later that day the boy pulls out a snack pack and starts eating it. The Grandfather asks, "Grandson, can I get one of those?"
The boy asks, "Can your willie touch your ass?"
The Grandfather says "Yes it can."
The boy says, "Then go screw yourself."

A little old Jewish lady has taken her young grandson to the beach. He is playing in the shallow water. She is standing on the beach not wanting to get her feet wet, when all of a sudden, a huge wave appears from nowhere and crashes directly over the spot where the little boy is wading. The water recedes and the boy is no longer there. He has simply vanished into the sea.

The grandmother raises her hands high up toward the sky, screams and
cries, "Lord, how could you take him? Have I not been a wonderful grandmother? Have I not been a wonderful mother? Have I not given to Bnai Brith? Have I not given to Hadassah? Have I not lit candles every Friday night at dusk? Have I not tried my very best to live the life that you would have me live?"

A loud voice booms down from the sky, "Okay, okay, already!"

A few seconds later another huge wave appears out of nowhere and crashes on the beach. As the water recedes, the little boy is more...

One day my friend Harry was driving with one of his little Grandsons and beeped the horn by mistake. The little boy turned and looked at him for an explanation.

Harry said, "I did that by accident."

His Grandson replied, "I know that, Grandpa."

Harry replied, "How did you know?"

His Grandson said, "Because you didn't say' asshole!' afterwards."

An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws. "You`ve got so many freckles, there`s no place to paint!" a girl in the line said to the little fella.Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him. "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles," she said, while tracing her finger across the child`s cheek. "Freckles are beautiful."The boy looked up, "Really?""Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing that`s prettier than freckles."The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma`s face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."

This little grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life.
When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green army men, and she asked him why they were there.
Her grandson replied, "On television, they say,' The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!'"

A grandmother took her little grandson to the beach. They were having a good time until a huge wave came in and swept the boy out to sea. She fell down on her knees and pleaded to the heavens, please return my grandson, - that's all I ask! PLEASE!!!"

A moment later, lo and behold, a wave swelled from the ocean and deposited the wet, yet unhurt child, at her feet. She checked him over to make sure that he was okay. He was fine. But still she looked up with an annoyed expression and said,

"Where's his other shoe?!"