Grandson Jokes / Recent Jokes
A tough old cowboy told his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously to the age of 103. When he died, he left 14 children, 30 grand-children, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great grandchildren, and a 15 foot hole where the crematorium used to be.
A man selling hats went to a jungle for a rest. A monkey came and stole a hat. The man couldn't catch the monkey. He realized the monkey followed the man's actions. He threw the hat to the ground. The monkey threw the hat to the ground. He picked up both hats and went away.
The man then had a grandson who followed the family business and sold hats. The grandson went to a jungle to rest while selling hats. A monkey came and stole a hat. The grandson thought of his grandfather's story, and threw the hat on the floor. The monkey ran and picked up the hat. It then slapped the grandson, saying, "You think you're the only one having a grandfather?"
Grandma, who was living with her daughter's family, greeted her 11-year old grandson at the door when he came home from school.
"Well, sonny, what did you learn today?" Grandma asked.
"Sex education," he replied. "All about sex organs, intercourse and stuff."
The old woman was so shocked, she immediately reported the conversation to her daughter.
"Calm down, Mom," her daughter replied. "These days it's all part of the cirriculum."
A few hours later, the grandmother was reading when her daughter called out that dinner was ready. Grandma walked past her grandson's room and noticed that he was vigorously masterbating.
"Sonny," Grandma said, "when you're finished with your homework, come downstairs to dinner."
One day I recieved a letter from grandma...
The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience followed!
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed! I found that LOTS of people love Jesus!
While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!" What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my more...
One day I recieved a letter from grandma...The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience followed! I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed! I found that LOTS of people love Jesus! While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!" What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and more...
Grandpa is upstairs in his bed in a coma and Grandma is worried that he is going to die. She says to her grandson, "You stay here and watch Grandpa while I prepare some food. Be sure to let me know if there are any changes in his condition."
Pretty soon Grandpa wakes up and says to his grandson, "Do I smell Grandma's cookies? Run downstairs and tell Grandma I'd like some of her cookies."
The boy goes downstairs, then comes back up and says to Grandpa, "Sorry Grandpa, Grandma says you can't have any. They're for the funeral."
A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning.
The grandson did this religiously and he lived to the age of 93.
When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren and a fifteen foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.