Intersection Jokes

A police officer pulled over a vehicle that had just driven through an intersection without slowing for the traffic light, which flashes red continually. (It flashes amber for the cross direction.)
The driver, blonde of course, explained, "But I didn't go through on the RED, I went through on the BLACK!"

Horses may not be kept in bathtubs. By law, if a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, the marriage must take place.It is a capital offense to inadvertently kill someone while attempting suicide. Every adult male must bring a rifle to church on Sunday in order to ward off Indian attacks. When approaching a four way or blind intersection in a non-horse driven vehicle you must stop 100 ft from the intersection and discharge a firearm into the air to warn horse traffic. It is considered an offense to get a tattoo. Performing a U-turn within 1,000 feet of an intersection is illegal. Musical instruments may not be sold on Sunday. No work may be done on Sunday. An exception is that light bulbs may be sold. All schools must prepare a suitable program for Francis Willard Day. Dance halls may not operate on Sundays. Merchandise may not be sold within a half mile of a church unless fruit is being sold. A railroad my not remove itself from a town of more than five hundred people. Railroad more...

One day I recieved a letter from grandma...

The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience followed!

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed! I found that LOTS of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!" What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just more...

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, both women barely large enough to see over the dashboard.
As they cruised along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went right on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light."
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection, the light was red, and again they went right through.
This time, the passenger was almost sure that the light had been red, but was also concerned that she might be seeing things.
She was getting nervous, and decided to pay very close attention.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red, and they went right through it.
She turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us!"
Mildred turned to her and more...

The other day I saw a' 'Honk if you love Jesus'' bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did! What an uplifting experience that followed! I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and how good He is... and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed! I found that LOTS of people love Jesus! Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind me started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed,' 'For the love of GOD! GO, GO!! Jesus Christ, GO!!'' What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my horn a few times more...