"Insurance Form Statements" joke
Insurance Form Statements... Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention. I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment. In an attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car. I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident. As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian. My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him. I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car. The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth. I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows. The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end. The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him.
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