Grass Jokes / Recent Jokes
"My, what an attractive baby," said the handsome astrologer to the sweet young thing pushing the perambulator. "Do you happen to know what sign he was conceived under?"
"Yes," blushed the young mother. "It was KEEP OFF THE GRASS."
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Andy Green.
Andy Green, who?
Andy Green grass grows all around, all around. Andy Green grass grows all around.
The power mower was broken and wouldn't run, a lady kept hinting to her husband that he should get it fixed. But, somehow the message never sank in.Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When her husband
arrived home one day, he found her seated in the tall grass, busily
snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. He watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.He was gone only a few moments when he came out again. He handed her a
toothbrush. "When you finish cutting the grass", he said, "you might as well
sweep the sidewalks".
Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow? Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!
A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up. As
he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the
dawn breaking for the first time in his life. "Wow, this is great," he thought.
It wasn't long before he came to a hedge and, after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight-lots
of other bunny rabbits, all free and nibbling at the lush grass.
"Hey," he called. "I'm a rabbit from the laboratory and I've just escaped. Are you wild rabbits?"
"Yes. Come and join us," they cried.
Our friend hopped over to them and started eating the grass. It tasted so good. "What else do you
wild rabbits do?" he asked.
"Well," one of them said. "You see that field there? It's got carrots growing in it. We dig them up
and eat them."
This, he couldn't resist and he spent the next hour more...
The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but it still has to be mowed.
If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you can bet the water bill is higher.