Graveyard Jokes / Recent Jokes
A woman was walking in a graveyard when she saw a man kneeling by a grave shouting "WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE???" Feeling sorry for the man she put her hand on his arm and said "Is that your wife your grieving for?" To which the man replied, "No it`s my wife's ex husband"
Your momma so ugly when she walked through the graveyard 2 men came after her with shovels.
A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realises that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him. By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward. Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th. By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second more...
A drunk leaves a bar and decides to take a shortcut through a graveyard. It is raining heavily and very dark.
The drunk fails to see an open grave and falls into it. He tries to climb out of it, but it is too deep and the rain has turned the dirt to mud and has made it too slippery to climb. He gives up after a while and decides to spend the night there.
A while later, another drunk leaves the same bar and decides to take the same shortcut through the graveyard. He, too, falls into that open grave and tries to climb out but the mud is too slippery.
The first drunk is still sitting there and watches as the other drunk tries but fails to get out.
The first drunk stands up, taps the second drunk on the shoulder and tells him, "You'll never get out!".
But he did.
A drunk leaves a bar and decides to take a shortcut througha graveyard. It is raining heavily and very dark. The drunkfails to see an open grave and falls into it. He tries toclimb out of it, but it is too deep and the rain has turnedthe dirt to mud and has made it too slippery to climb. Hegives up after a while and decides to spend the night there. A while later, another drunk leaves the same bar anddecides to take the same shortcut through the graveyard. He, too, falls into that open grave and tries to climb out butthe mud is too slippery. The first drunk is still sittingthere and watches as the other drunk tries but fails to getout. The first drunk stands up, taps the second drunk on theshoulder and tells him, "You'll never get out!". He did.