Greenberg Jokes

Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and started a small business. It did well, and soon he had enough money to send for the wife and children. The work kept him very busy, so he never had time to learn to write, but the bank was happy to do business with him, even though his signature consisted of two X's.He prospered, he opened more stores, the kids were transferred to private schools, the family moved into a fancy house (with one staircase going nowhere just for show)...you get the idea. One day his banker, Mr. Smith, asked him to drop by."So vat's the problem?" Greenberg asked, a bit anxiously.Smith waved a bunch of checks at him. "Perhaps nothing," he said, "but I wanted to be on the safe side. These recent checks of yours are all signed with 3 X's, but your signature of record has just 2."Greenberg looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry about making trouble," he said, "but my vife said that since more...

Mr. Greenberg, a World War II veteran, walks into a Chinese restaurant and sits down. As soon as the waiter comes up, Mr. Greenberg slaps him across the face. "What was that for?!" cries the outraged waiter. "That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies Mr. Greenberg. "But I'm Chinese. Pearl Harbor was attacked by the Japanese!"
"Chinese, Japanese-it's all the same!"
Mr. Greenberg orders his meal and is grudgingly served by the waiter. When he is through, he hands the waiter his credit card. Upon seeing that his name is "Greenberg", the waiter slaps him across the face. "What was that for?!" he shouts.
"That was for the Titanic!" "But I had nothing to do with the Titanic. It was sunk by an iceberg!"
"Greenberg, Iceberg-it's all the same!"

Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and started a small business. It did well, and soon he had enough money to send for the wife and children. The work kept him very busy, so he never had time to learn to write, but the bank was happy to do business with him, even though his signature consisted of two X's.
He prospered, he opened more stores, the kids were transferred to private schools, the family moved into a fancy house (with one staircase going nowhere just for show)... you get the idea. One day his banker, Mr. Smith, asked him to drop by.
"So vat's the problem?" Greenberg asked, a bit anxiously.
Smith waved a bunch of checks at him. "Perhaps nothing," he said, "but I wanted to be on the safe side. These recent checks of yours are all signed with 3 X's, but your signature of record has just 2."
Greenberg looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry about making trouble," he said, "but more...

It was a sweltering August day when the Greenberg brothers entered the posh Dearborn, Michigan offices of the notoriously anti-Semitic car-maker, Henry Ford.
"Mr. Ford," announced Hyman Greenberg, the eldest of the three, "we have a remarkable invention that will revolutionize the automobile industry."
Ford looked skeptical, but their threats to offer it to the competition kept his interest piqued. "We would like to demonstrate it to you in person." After a little cajoling, they brought Mr. Ford outside and asked him to enter a black car that was parked in front of the building.
Norman Greenberg, the middle brother, opened the door of the car. "Please step inside Mr. Ford."
"What?" shouted the tycoon, "are you crazy? It must be two hundred degrees in that car!"
"It is," smiled the youngest brother, Max, "but sit down, Mr. Ford, and push the white button."
Intrigued, Ford pushed the more...