Grocery Jokes / Recent Jokes
Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end.
Finally she couldn’t take it any longer, and told him, “Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store! ”.
“Really? ” he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store.
A clerk answers and Tom says “Can I please talk to the Vice President of peas? ”
The clerk replies “Canned or frozen? ”
Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon Yo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ! Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes! Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M+M's in alphabetical order! Yo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone! Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money! Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight! Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund! Yo mama so stupid she took a cup to see more...
Mr. Jaswant singh went to a grocery stores collected the grocery and came to the counter and person at the counter started preparing bill for the items. Singh asked " Where is the fat? " The person didn't understand what Singh was saying and said "Excuse me sir, FAT???" Sardar: "Yes Fat, Give me the fat" Sardar started shouting and arguing with the person and all people gathered and Manager of that grocery stores came there and asked Sardar about the problem. Then sardar said "Hey Manager look, I took a yogurt from your stores and it was written' FAT FREE' on that but this guy is not giving me the fat.
Did you hear about the blonde got locked into a grocery store for a month and starved to death?
Q. What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A. One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with. The other is used to carry groceries.
Jim was so excited about being promoted to Vice President of the company he worked for, he continually bragged about it to his wife for weeks on end.
Finally, she got to the point where she couldn't stand it any longer. "Jim, that promotion means absolutely nothing. Heck, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!"
"They do?" he said. Not sure if he should believe her or not, he decided to call the grocery store himself and check it out.
When a clerk answered the phone, Jim said, "Yes, I'd like to speak with the Vice President of peas, please."
"Sir, would that be frozen or canned?" asked the clerk.
Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end.
Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a Vice President of peas at the grocery store!"
"Really?" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store.
A clerk answers and Tom says "Can I please talk to the Vice President of peas?"
The clerk replies "Canned or frozen?"