Groom Jokes / Recent Jokes

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer. "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I'm to promise to' love, honor and obey' and' forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that part out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

It is now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comes time for the groom's vows, the pastor looks the young man in the eye and says: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, more...

Preeto was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black nighty and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle. Well, her mom forgot until the last minute. So she dashed out and could only find a short pink nightie. She bought it and threw it into the suitcase.
After the wedding the bride, Preeto and the groom, Banta, enter their hotel room.
Banta was a little self-conscious so he asked his new bride, Preeto to change in the bathroom and promise not to peek while he got ready for bed.
While Preeto was in the bathroom, she opened her suitcase and saw the negligee her mother had thrown in there.
She exclaimed, "Oh no! It's short, pink, and wrinkled!"
Then her groom cried out, "I told you not to peek!"

A couple has returned from their honeymoon and it was obvious to everyone that they are not talking to each other.
The groom's best man takes him aside and asks what's wrong.
"Well," replied the man "when we had finished making love on the first night, as I got up to go to the bathroom, I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking."
"Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much," said his friend. "I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough - she can't expect you to have been saving yourself all these years!"
The groom nodded gently and said, "I don't know if I can get over this though: She gave me $20 change!"

If any of you guys out there have ever thought you have balls, forget about it. This is a true story that happened at a wedding at Clemson. This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests (for you rich folk, this is huge by middle class standards)

After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride and groom's families for coming.

To thank everyone for coming and bringing gifts and everything, he said he wanted to give everyone a gift from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair was a manila envelope. He said that was his gift to everyone, and told them to open it. Inside the manila envelope was an 8x10 picture of his best man having sex with the bride. (He must have gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired a private detective to trail more...

Practical joke A friend got married and I, being the best man, decided a humorous practical joke was in order. One of the duties of the best man is to make arrangements for the pick up and return of the groom's tuxedo. After final fitting, rent an extra coat jacket that is either three or four sizes smaller or larger than the groom's. Explain to the tux shop what you're up to. Pick up the groom's fitted coat, switch with the extra rented coat, and deliver to the groom only when it becomes time to actually get dressed. The friend of mine wore a 42 long, but the one I provided was a 38 short. Talk about some serious fun! Don't reveal that you know anything as long as possible.

If any of you guys out there have ever thought you have balls, forget about
it. This is a true story that just happened at a wedding at Clemson.
This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the
reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd.
He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long
distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank
the bride's and groom's families for coming.
To thank everyone for coming and bring gifts and everything, he said he
wanted to give everyone a gift from him.So taped to the bottom of everyone's
chair was a manila envelope. He said that was his gift to everyone, and told
them to open it.
Inside the manilla envelope was an 8x10 picture of his best man having sex
with the bride. (He must have gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired
a private detective to trail them.) After he stood there and more...

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom. The other the groom broom. The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.
After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride broom leaned over and said to the groom broom "Oh honey, I think I'm going to have a little whisk broom..."
"That's IMPOSSIBLE!!" exclaimed the groom broom.
"WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER YET!!!"