Groom Jokes / Recent Jokes
It was the wedding night for a young couple and the groom wanted everything
to be just perfect. He arranged to stay in the Honeymoon Suite of a plush
hotel, and he and his new bride eagerly jumped into the heart-shaped bed
to make love for the first time (at least for him). After making wild and
passionate love for a considerate length of time, they both reached the
climactic moment simultaneously, slipping into a state of utmost
relaxation. At this point, the groom reaches for the telephone.
"What on earth do you think you are doing?" asks the young bride
"Well, I wanted everything to be perfect, so I thought I should call room
service for a bottle of their finest champagne," came the reply
"Well, I used to date Arnold Palmer, and when Arnold and I finished making love
we would wait 10 minutes and make love again," the young groom was informed.
"If that's what you are used to, I will be glad to more...
LITTLE GIRL IN CHURCH: "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
MOMMY: "White is the color of joy, and today is most joyful day of her life."
LITTLE GIRL: "Then why is the groom wearing black?"
A lawyer got married to a woman who had previously been married 12 times. On their wedding night, they settled into the bridal suite at their hotel and the bride said to her new groom, "Please, promise to be gentle. I am still a virgin."
This puzzled the groom, since after 12 marriages, he thought that at least one of her husbands would have been able to perform. He asked his new bride to explain the phenomenon.
She responded:
My first husband was a Sales Representative who spent our entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms,' It's gonna be great!'
My second husband was from Software Services; he was never quite sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he would send me documentation.
My third husband was from Field Services and constantly said that everything was diagnostically OK, but he just couldn't get the system up.
My fourth husband was from Educational Services, and he simply said, Those more...
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: "I thought we had a deal." The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and more...
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer:"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,' I'dappreciate it if you'd just leave that part out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.It is now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comes time for the groom's vows, the pastor looks the young man in the eye and says:"Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward more...
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with anunusual offer."Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When youget to me and the part where I'm to promise to 'love, honor and obey'and 'forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciateit if you'd just leave that part out." He passed the minister a $100bill and walked away satisfied.It is now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom have moved tothat part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comestime for the groom's vows, the pastor looks the young man in the eye and says, "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you willnot ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "I do."Then, he leaned more...
Announcement:
It is the responsibility of the bride's family to announce the wedding in the local newspaper. The announcement should include: A photograph of the bride (A high school yearbook picture is acceptable); Name of the groom, education completed by both bride and groom (do not include elementary school, unless that was the terminal degree.); current employment and planned residence after the ceremony (If living with the bride's parents, it is not necessary to specify where in the house you will reside).
Invitations:
Since you are having a planned wedding and you are expecting a lot of free stuff, you must send out invitations! They do not have to be lengthy. Something like "You are invited to watch John Smith and Jennifer Johnson make it legal on March 14, 2000." will suffice nicely. If you don't want to be so formal, you can always run down to the local bar and yell "If you aint doing nothin' on the 14th of March, why don't you more...