Group Jokes / Recent Jokes
Back in the old west, there was a need to connect the east and the west with a telegraph line. The Manager of the project advertised for workers to complete the job. Three groups responded. A group of Chinese, a group of Italians, and a group of Blondes. Since none of the groups would work with anyone from the other two groups, the manager decided to assign each group to a different part of the line. The first task was to stand the telegraph poles. The Manager sent each group out to a different location. Before they left, he advised all three groups that the one to bury the most poles today, would receive a bonus. At the end of the day, the foreman of the Italians reported back to the Manager. The Manager inquired of him how many poles had been set by his group. He replied 48. The manager was very pleased. He advised the Italian to stay awhile until he heard how the Chinese and the Blondes did. Next to report was the foreman of the Chinese group. When asked, he reported that they had more...
A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.
The group surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?"
One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."
Of course, the reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."
There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, more...
A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand-dune. "One Texas soldier is better than ten Taliban".The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.The voice then calls out "One Texan is better than one hundred Taliban".Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.The Texan voice calls out again "One Texan is better than one thousand Taliban".The enraged Taliban Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence.Eventually one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don`t send any more men, its a trap. There`s more...
No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summmer and, eventually, a lifetime. Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former. Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water. Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down. No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant "You looked up," or invoke the wrath of the universe. The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instuctor. Every par-three hole in the world has a more...
SAN JOSE, Costa Rica - A tour group of U.S. senior citizens fought off a group of muggers in Costa Rica, killing one of the assailants, police said Thursday.
"Nobody turns the channel when I'm watching All My Children, Nobody!" said Mrs. Charles Dougherty of Glenside PA.
Doctor: You and your wife have same blood group. Patient: Ye to hona hi tha 25 saal se mera khoon jopeerahi hai.
IN IRAQ ONE NIGHT AMERICAN ARMY HAD REPORT THERE IS BUNCH OF FEDAYEAN HIDE TO AMBUSH THE ARMY, SARGENT SEND A GROUP TO CAPTURE THEM OR KILL THEM FOR GOOD. THEY WENT ON DARK AND WAIT TO SEE IF THERE IS ANY MOVEMENTS BUT NOTHING THEN THEY PLANED SOMETHING TO CACH THEM. THEY SOURANDED THE AREA AND ONE GUYS FROM WEST WITH LOUD SPEKER SAID HEY MOHAMAD, ABOUT TEN IRAQI NAMED MOHAMAD RAISE AND SAID YES THEN WITH SILENCE GUN AMERICAN SHOOT THEM, ABOUT 10 MINUTES LATER ANOTHER GUYS FROM SOUTH CALL HEY ABDOLHOUSSIN THEN ANOTHER 20 GET UP AND SAID YES THEN ANOTHER SILENCE SHOOT AND ANOTHER GROUP DEAD FINALLY IRAQI SOLDER BECOME SMART AND THEY TRY TO DO THE SAME TRICK TO AMERICAN AND ONE BY ONE CALL HEY JOHN NO REPLY THEN THEY CALL AGAIN HEY ALBERT NO ONE REPLY AGAIN HEY GEORGE NOTHING HAPPEN. SO AFTER WHILE AMERICAN GO AGAIN AND SAID HOW WAS LOOKING FOR JOHN, ALBERT AND GEORGE?
THEN ALL IRAQI STAND AND SAID WE ARE AND BOOM ALL SHOOT TO DEAD WITH SILENCED GUN !!!