Group Jokes / Recent Jokes

'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to "Elves","Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.And labor conditions at the north poleWere alleged by the union to stifle the soul.Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety, Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.And equal employment had made it quite clearThat Santa had better not use just reindeer.So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!? The runners had been removed from his sleigh;The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.And people had started to call for the copsWhen they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows:Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of more...

A guy told a group of his friends about the fantastic steak he had eating in a downtown restaurant the day before. They all decided to head down to the restaurant to see if it was really as great as he was making it out to be.
The group entered the restaurant and were seated at a table in the back section. After looking over the menu, they ordered and anxiously awaited their delicious, gigantic steaks.
To their collective disappointment, the waitress brought them the smallest steaks they had ever seen.
Embarrassed, the guy called the waitress over and said, "Now listen here! Yesterday I came in here and you brought me the biggest, juiciest, most delicious steak I have ever had. Today, when I have all my friends here, you serve us these miniature steaks. What is the meaning of this?"
"Yesterday, sir, you were sitting by the window!" replied the waitress.

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,' There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or' that's Michael. He's a doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher. She's dead."

A guy had told all of his friends about the great steak he'd eaten downtown the day before. A group of them decided to head down and see if it was really as large and delicious as he was making it out to be.The group was seated in the back of the restaurant. After looking over the menu, they ordered and waited, hungrily, for their large, delicious, gigantic steaks.To their collective disappointment, the waiter brought out some of the smallest steaks they'd ever seen."Now see here," the very embarrassed guy said to the waiter. "Yesterday, when I came down here you served me a big, juicy steak. Today, though, when I have my friends with me, you serve tiny steaks! What is the meaning of this?""Yes, sir," replied the waiter, "yesterday you were sitting by the window."

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning at the
third tee (par 3, 185 yards, slight dog leg to left, water hazard on
the right) while a particularly slow group of golfers were flailin away ahead of them.

Engineer: What's with these guys? We've been waiting for 15 minutes!
Doctor: I don't know but I've never seen such ineptitude!
Priest: Hey, here comes the green keeper. Let's have a word with him.

Priest: Hi George. Say George, what's with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?
George: Oh yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight while saving our club house last year, so we let them play here anytime free of charge!

Doctor: Wow! Thanks for the scoop George.
Priest: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.
Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my opthamologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for more...

A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of their sudden death. The leader of the discussion said, " We will all die some day, and none of us really know when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event."Everybody shook their heads in agreement with this comment. Then the leader said to the group, "What would you do if you knew you only had 4 weeks of life remaining before your death, and then the Great Judgment Day?"A gentleman said, " I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted the Lord into their lives.""Very good!", said the group leader, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.One lady spoke up and said enthusiastically, "I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving God, my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater conviction.""That's wonderful!" the more...

Good morning! What do you call a group of Chinese people standing at the same time? A sunrise!