Guided Jokes

A couple were being given a guided tour of Pico da Bandeira, one of the highest mountains in the Americas. Their guide pointed out where a young couple, petrified by lava, had been discovered. They had died in the act of making love. "How awful! " exclaimed the wife. "Si, but what a great way to spend eternity." added the husband.

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath, and young nun, Sister Magdalene had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray. The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night bath had gone." Oh, sister," said the young nun dreamily. "I've been saved." Saved? And how did that fine thing come about?" asked the old nun "Well, when Fr. John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven." "Did he now?" said the old nun evenly. Sister Magdalene continued, "And Fr. John said that if the Key to Heaven fit my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured of salvation and eternal peace. And then Father more...

South Korea is gearing up for the World Cup by giving its toilets an urgent makeover. Officials are thinking big about the smallest room, lavishing expensive decor on lavatories and designing' themed' toilets in a bid to win the title of "Finest Rest Room in Seoul". Korea's "outhouse experience" has long been panned by visiting Westerners.

But the country has now launched the Rest Room movement and is determined visitors will be bowled over by the standard of its lavatories during World Cup 2002. Art shows have even been thrown in lavs, and there is now a guided tour of the city's top 50 conveniences. One top toilet is said to have an "urbane image of high class", with dressing tables, aromatic toilet paper and hair dryers.

Another has an art show, while a government-run loo is designed with a medieval theme and a "castle motif". Plants, colored lighting, ultra-high ceilings, cigarette machines and heavy steel ashtrays are more...

Subject: Father John

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath and young Sister
Magdalene Edwards had prepared the bath water and towels just the way
the old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene Edwards was also instructed
not to look at Fr. John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he
told her to do, and pray.


The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday
night bath had gone. "Oh, sister," said the young nun dreamily. "I've
been saved." "Saved? And how did that fine thing come about?" asked the
old nun. "Well, when Fr. John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to
wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between
his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven."


"Did he now," said the old nun evenly.


Sister Magdalene continued, "And Fr. John said that if the more...

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath, and young nun, Sister Magdalene had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed.

Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Fr. John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray.

The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday nightbath had gone.

'Oh, sister,' said the young nun dreamily.' I've been saved.'

'Saved? And how did that fine thing come about?' asked the old nun.

'Well, when Fr. John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven.'

'Did he now?' said the old nun evenly.

Sister Magdalene continued,' And Fr. John said that if the Key to Heaven fit my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured of salvation and eternal more...