"Father john''s bath" joke

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath, and young nun, Sister Magdalene had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed.
Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Fr. John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray.
The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday nightbath had gone.
"Oh, sister," said the young nun dreamily. "I've been saved."
"Saved? And how did that fine thing come about?" asked the old nun.
"Well, when Fr. John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven."
"Did he now?" said the old nun evenly.
Sister Magdalene continued, "And Fr. John said that if the Key to Heaven fit my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured of salvation and eternal peace.
And then Father John guided his Key to Heaven into my lock."
"Is that a fact?" said the old nun even more evenly.
"At first it hurt terribly, but Fr. John said the pathway to salvation was often painful and that the glory of God would soon swell my heart with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being saved."
"That wicked old Devil!" said the old nun. "He told me it was Gabriel's Horn, and I've been blowing it for 40 years!"

The wives of four world leaders were having' tea' and the topic was raised of what one diplomatically calls a gentleman's manhood in their language.

Tony Blair's wife said in England people call it a gentleman, because it stands up when women are more...

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This guy who was only 5'3 was going to have sex with this girl at this party one night so they found a room and as soon as the girl had all of her clothes off she tells the guy. now i want you to give me nine inches and you better make it hurt. so the guy fucked her three times more...

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One day at the veterinarian's office where I take my cat, a man and the receptionist were verbally sparring.
After a few moments a technician came to her co-worker's defense.
"Sir... Do you know what happens to aggressive males in this office ??"

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