Guinea Jokes / Recent Jokes
English is a Crazy Language From: Charlie IndelicatoLet's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplantnor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffinsweren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats arecandies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find thatquicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig isneither from Guinea nor is it a pig.And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don'tgroce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't theplural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index,2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that youcomb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunchof odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preacher more...
The English LanguageHave you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language? Let's face itEnglish is a stupid language. There is no egg in the eggplantNo ham in the hamburgerAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in EnglandFrench fries were not invented in France. We sometimes take English for grantedBut if we examine its paradoxes we find thatQuicksand takes you down slowlyBoxing rings are squareAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. If writers write, how come fingers don't fing. If the plural of tooth is teethShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beethIf the teacher taught, Why didn't the preacher praught. If a vegetarian eats vegetablesWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!? Why do people recite at a playYet play at a recital? Park on driveways andDrive on parkwaysYou have to marvel at the unique lunacyOf a language where a house can burn up asIt burns downAnd in which you fill in a form By more...