Guitar Jokes / Recent Jokes

The American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.

The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.
The Mexican replied, "Only a little while."
The American then asked, "Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more fish?"
The Mexican said, "With this I have more than enough to support my family's needs."
The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"
The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life."
The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you.
You should spend more time more...

A man walks into a bar and he has a pet octopus. He sits down at the bar and says to the bartender “give us two beers over here! ”
The bartender walks over and see’s the octopus and he says, “Didn’t you see the sign over there it says no pets allowed! ”
The man say’s to the bartender, “oh but you don’t understand this is a special octopus and he can play any musical instrument that you have. ”
The bartender replied back, “well I’ll tell you what, if he can play any instrument you can both drink for free all night! ”
The bartender walks up to the band playing and grabs a guitar. He puts it down on the bar.
The octopus crawls up on the bar and feels around the guitar for a little while, then finally he picks it up and starts jamming. He’s so good he sounded like Jimi Hendricks!
The bartender was amazed and says, “alright lets try one more”.
This time he goes into the back room and brings out a dusty old set of bagpipes more...

Whats the difference between a guitar and a tuna fish??
You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish. .

The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.

Q: How do you make him stop playing? A: Put notes on it! Q: What did the guitar say to the guitarist? A: Pick on someone your own size! Q: What's the definition of a minor second? A: Two lead guitarists playing in unison.Q: What do you call two guitarists playing in unison? A: Counterpoint.Q: How do you get a guitar player to play softer? A: Give him a sheet of music.Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Twenty. One to change the bulb and nineteen to say, "Not bad, but I could've done better".Q: What does a guitarist say when he gets to his gig? A: Would you like fries with that? Q: What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond? A: Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money! Q: What is the difference between a guitar and a tuna fish? A: You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.

The American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large Yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied only a little while.
The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. The American then asked, but what do you do with the rest of your time?
The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life, senor."
The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat, with the proceeds from the bigger boat you more...

What's the difference between a guitar player and a mutual fund?
The mutual fund will eventually mature and start making money.