Haircut Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair.

"I'm goin' to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you." "That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said,' Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"

Women's version:
Woman2: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman1: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she was gave me the
mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?
Woman2: Oh God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like
that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much
stuck with this stuff I think.
Woman1: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could
easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute
I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was
afraid it would accent my long neck.
Woman2: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything
to take attention away from this two-by-four I have
for a shoulder line.
Woman1: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your
shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean,
look at my arms - see how short they are? If I had your
shoulders I could get clothes more...

A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk and asked if there was a barber on the premises. "I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purposes."

Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the appropriate machine, inserted fifty cents, and stuck his head in the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his head in the mirror, which reflected the best haircut he ever received in his life.

Down the hall was another machine with a sign that read, "Manicures - 25 cents." "Why not," thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and pulled them out perfectly manicured.

The next machine had a huge sign that read, more...

the other day i gotta haircut an i go into work the next day and my co workers go, u getta haircut? i sed no fall and im sheding, heres ur sign!
A couple months ago, I was eating at an Italian restaurant with my family, we all started eating and my cousin looks at me n sez wut u got looks good is it good, i sed nop eit taste like shit im just tryin not to notice, heres ur sign!
My family and i were sitting at my house having a good time, when my aunt announced that she was getting married to her boyfriend of 3 years and my mom asks if the guy is a good guy, with a smile my aunt sez nope, he's a wife beating alcholic crack hed and I'm marrying him for his baody. Here's your sign.
i was workin late one nite and the boss comes over tome n sez ey u still here, and i sed nope i left an hour ago im havin a outta body experince, heres ur sign!
i was watchin one of them animal shows on tv the other day and a buddy of mine was with me and were watchin it and theres this huge more...

The BarberA priest walked into a barber shop in Washington, D. C. After he gothis haircut, he asked how much it would be. The barber said, "Nocharge. I consider it a service to the Lord." The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 prayerbooks and a thank you note from the priest in front of the door. Later that day, a police officer came in and got his hair cut. Hethen asked how much it was. The barber said, "No charge. I considerit a service to the community." The next morning, he came to work and there were a dozen donuts anda thank you note from the police officer. Then, a Senator came in and got a haircut. When he was done he askedhow much it was. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it aservice to the country." The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 Senatorsin front of the door.

The media is jumping all over Presidential Candidate John Edwards for getting a $400 haircut... I think he's getting a raw deal. He's got to look sharp - God knows he's going to single soon enough.

A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair.
"I'm goin' to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes."
When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your dad's forgotten all about you."
"That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"