Haircut Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man and a small boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received a shave, shampoo and haircut, he lifted the boy into the chair.
"I'll be right back," the man said. "I'm just going to run to the store to buy a green tie to wear to the parade."
By the time the barber had finished the boy's haircut, the man still hadn't returned.
"Looks like your daddy has gone and forgotten all about you," the barber said.
"Oh, that wasn't my daddy," replied the boy. "He just walked up to me, took me by the hand and said we were going to get free haircuts."
How to Tell When You're In Los Angeles:
Your coworker tells you s/he has 8 body piercings: none are visible.
You make over $250,000. And still can't afford a house.
You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a conversation in
English.
Your child's 3rd grade teacher has two pierced ears, a nose ring and is named
"Breeze." And you need to know if the teacher is male or female.
If you speak about "urban transit," you're besieged by attractive young women
who want to "channel."
You can't remember... is pot illegal?
You've been to more than one baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm
donor.
You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and
can taste the difference between Sumatra and Ethiopian. And you know which
Brentwood restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
A really great parking space can move you to tears.
You assume every company offers domestic more...
Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Noting that he needed a haircut before his meeting the following day, he called the desk clerk and asked if they had a barber on the premises. "I'm afraid we don't, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purpose."
Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the appropriate machine, inserted fifty cents, stuck his head in the opening, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. A few seconds later, the salesman pulled his head out and surveyed it in the mirror, which reflected the best haircut he had ever had.
Proceeding down the hall, he saw another machine with a sign that read: Manicures - 50 cents. "Why not," thought the salesman. He put his money in the slot, inserted his hands, and pulled them out perfectly manicured.
The next machine he saw had a huge sign that read: This Machine Provides What Men Need Most When Away more...
A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next day's meeting, he called down to "I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him, "but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purposes."
Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the appropriate machine, inserted fifty cents, and stuck his head in the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his head in the mirror, which reflected the best haircut he ever received in his life.
Down the hall was another machine with a sign that read, "Manicures 25 cents." "Why not?" thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and pulled them out perfectly manicured.
The next machine had a huge sign that read, "This Machine Provides What Men Need Most When Away from Their Wives - cost 50 cents." The salesman more...
A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next day's meeting, he called down to "I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him, "but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purposes."Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the appropriate machine, inserted fifty cents, and stuck his head in the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his head in the mirror, which reflected the best haircut he ever received in his life.Down the hall was another machine with a sign that read, "Manicures 25 cents." "Why not?" thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and pulled them out perfectly manicured.The next machine had a huge sign that read, "This Machine Provides What Men Need Most When Away from Their Wives - cost 50 cents." The salesman was embarrassed more...