"How to Tell When You're In Los..." joke

How to Tell When You're In Los Angeles:
Your coworker tells you s/he has 8 body piercings: none are visible.
You make over $250,000. And still can't afford a house.
You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a conversation in
English.
Your child's 3rd grade teacher has two pierced ears, a nose ring and is named
"Breeze." And you need to know if the teacher is male or female.
If you speak about "urban transit," you're besieged by attractive young women
who want to "channel."
You can't remember... is pot illegal?
You've been to more than one baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm
donor.
You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and
can taste the difference between Sumatra and Ethiopian. And you know which
Brentwood restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
A really great parking space can move you to tears.
You assume every company offers domestic partner benefits, a fab exercise
facility and tofu takeout.
You're thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between aroma
therapy or conversational mandarin.
A man walks into an after hour club on melrose in full leather regalia and
crotchless chaps. You don't notice.
You think any guy with a George Clooney haircut must be visiting from the
Midwest.
You know that any woman with a George Clooney haircut is not a tourist.
Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers
your mail is into BDSM and your Mary Kay Cosmetic Lady is someone in drag.