Clooney Jokes

So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, you know you're from California if:
1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $400,000 and still can't afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
5. You can't remember... is pot illegal?
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
8. You can't remember... is pot illegal?
9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS more...

Your co-worker has 8 body piercing and none are visible.
You make over $250,000 and still can't afford a house.
You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a conversation in English.
Your child's 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.
You can't remember... is pot illegal?
You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
You can't remember... is pot illegal?
A really great parking space can move you to tears.
A low speed pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
Gas cost 75 cents per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.
Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and more...

People magazine picked George Clooney as the Sexiest Man Alive for the second time ever.














Asked what he finds attractive, he said, "Sense of humor is No. 1 for me."

He added, "I find a great set of tits hilarious, by the way."

How to Tell When You're In Los Angeles:
Your coworker tells you s/he has 8 body piercings: none are visible.
You make over $250,000. And still can't afford a house.
You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a conversation in
English.
Your child's 3rd grade teacher has two pierced ears, a nose ring and is named
"Breeze." And you need to know if the teacher is male or female.
If you speak about "urban transit," you're besieged by attractive young women
who want to "channel."
You can't remember... is pot illegal?
You've been to more than one baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm
donor.
You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and
can taste the difference between Sumatra and Ethiopian. And you know which
Brentwood restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
A really great parking space can move you to tears.
You assume every company offers domestic more...