Hairy Jokes / Recent Jokes
Yo mama so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth! Yo mama so hairy she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock. Yo mama so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture! Yo mama so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.
Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?- Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&M's
A ghost joke
Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?
Because you can see right through them!
A vampire joke
What does a vampire bath in?
A bat tub!
A werewolf joke
Why did the boy take a pain killer after hearing a werewolf howl?
Because it gave him eerie ache!
A vampire joke
What does Dracula say when you tell him something interesting?
Well fangcy that!
A werewolf joke
What do you call a hairy beast that is lost?
A where-wolf!
A vampire joke
What flavour ice cream is Dracula’s favourite?
Veinilla!
A werewolf joke
What do you call a hairy beast in a river?
A weir-wolf!
A witch joke
Why do witches scratch themselves all the time?
Because they’re the only ones who know where a witch itches!
A vampire joke
Do you know that Dracula wants to be a comedian?
He’s still looking for a crypt writer though!
A werewolf joke
What do you call an extinct hairy beast?
A were-wolf!
A ghost joke
Where do mummies go if they want to swim?
The Dead Sea!
A werewolf joke
What happens if you cross a werewolf and a sheep?
You have to get a new sheep!
A vampire joke
Why are vampire families so close?
Because blood is thicker than water!
A werewolf joke
What is fearsome, hairy and drinks from the wrong side of a glass?
A werewolf with hiccups!
'Twas the night before Christmas,
Da whole house was mellow,
Not a creature was stirrin',
I had a gun unda my pillow.
When up on da roof'
I heard somethin' pound,
I sprung to da window,
To scream, "YO! Keep it down!"
When what to my
Wanderin' eyes should appear,
But dat hairy elf Vinny,
And eight friggin' reindeer.
Wit' a bad hackin' cough,
And da stencha burped beer,
I knew in a moment
Yo, da Kringle wuz here!
Wit' a slap to dere snouts,
And a yank on dere manes,
He cursed and he shouted,
And he called dem by name.
"Yo Tony, Yo Frankie,
Yo Sally, Yo Vito,
Ay Joey, Ay Paulie,
Ay Pepe, Ay Guido!"
As I drew out my gun
And hid by da bed,
Down came his boot
On da top a my head.
His eyes were all bloodshot,
His b. o. wuz scary,
His breath wuz like sewage,
He had a mole dat wuz hairy.
He spit in my eye,
And more...
What is grey and hairy and lives on a man's face? A mousetache.
After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband's attention, he'd just shrug her off with some bored comment.
This went on for many months and the wife was going crazy with boredom. Then one day at a pet store, the wife saw this big, ugly, snorting bird with a hairy chest, powerful hairy forearms, beady eyes and dribble running down the side of its mouth.
The shopkeeper, observing her fascination with the bird, told her it was a special imported "Goony bird" and it had a very peculiar trait. To demonstrate, he exclaimed, "Goony bird! The table!"
Immediately, the Goony bird flew off its perch and with single-minded fury attacked the table and smashed it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms and claws! To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper said, more...