Halfway Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two men are having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course, and they didn't bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette. After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man said, "I think I'll walk up there and ask those gals to let us play through." He walked out to the fairway, got halfway to the ladies, stopped, turned around and came back, explaining, "I can't do it. One of those women is my wife and the other is my mistress. Maybe you'd better go talk to them." The second man walked toward the ladies, go halfway there and, just as his partner had done, stopped, turned around and walked back. He smiled sheepishly and said, "Small World!"

Two men were having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course. They didn't bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette.
After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man said, "I think I'll walk up there and ask those gals to let us play through."
He walked out the fairway, got halfway to the ladies, stopped, turned around, and came back, explaining, "I can't do it. One of those women is my wife and the other is my mistress! Maybe you'd better go talk to them."
The second man walked toward the ladies, got halfway there and, just as his partner had done, stopped, turned around and walked back and said: "Small world."

Two guys out golfing were becoming impatient because they were being slowed down by two women on the next hole. One guy said he was going to go and ask them if they could play through. He got about halfway to them when he turned around and came back.
Not understanding why, the second guy asked him what happened. "I can't ask them to play through. One is my mistress and the other is my wife," he replied.
The second guy said he would go and ask them himself. He got about halfway there, turned around, came back and said to the first guy, "What a coincidence!"

About halfway through the reception, the brides mother went to her daughter and said, "Go upstairs and ah make ah your husband ah happy, eh?" The bride did as she was told, and upon finding her new husband, she took him upstairs above the celebrating crowd`s watchful eye. He knew what was to take place, wasting no time, he took his tuxedo jacket, dress shirt and t-shirt off. She noticed that he had a hairy chest! Aghast, she quickly ran downstairs, found her mother and told her "Momma, he`s got ah hairy chest!" Her mother, in hopes to calm her down, said "Go upstairs and ah make ah your husband ah happy, eh?" She went back upstairs. He then took off his pants and she noticed that his legs were hairy too! She was quite old fashioned and didn`t know what to think, so she ran downstairs yet again to find her mother. She found her, pulled her aside and said, "Momma, Momma Mia - he`s got ah hairy legs too, what am I ah going to do, eh?" Her mother more...

(Long)
It was the funniest damn thing that has ever happened to me. A couple of weeks ago we decided to cruise out to Ryan's Steakhouse for dinner. It was a Wednesday night, which means that macaroni and beef was on the hot bar, indeed the only night of the week that it is served. Wednesday night is also kid's night at Ryan's, complete with Dizzy the Clown wandering from table to table entertaining them. It may seem that the events about to be told have little connection to those two circumstances, but all will be clear in a moment.

We went through the line and placed our orders for the all-you-can-eat hot bar then sat down as far away from the front of the restaurant as possible in order to keep the density of kids down a bit. Then I started my move to the hot bar. Plate after plate of macaroni and beef were consumed that evening. I tell you-in all, four heaping plates of the pseudo-Italian ambrosia were shoved into my belly. I was sated. Perhaps a bit too much, more...