Handsome Jokes / Recent Jokes
AGE DRINK 17 - Wine Coolers 25 - White wine 35 - Red wine 48 - Dom Perignon 66 - Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES 17 - Need to wash my hair 25 - Need to wash and condition my hair 35 - Need to colour my hair 48 - Need to have Francois colour my hair 66 - Need to have Francois colour my wig FAVORITE SPORT 17 - shopping 25 - shopping 35 - shopping 48 - shopping 66 - shopping DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE 17 - "Burger King" 25 - "Free meal" 35 - "A diamond" 48 - "A bigger diamond" 66 - "Home Alone" FAVORITE FANTASY 17 - tall, dark and handsome 25 - tall, dark and handsome with money 35 - tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain 48 - a man with hair 66 - a man HOUSE PET 17 - Muffy the cat 25 - Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat 35 - German Shepherd and Muffy the Cat 48 - Children from his first marriage and Muffy the Cat 66 - Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs Muff the Cat WHAT'S THE IDEAL more...
Gora-Boy was an unnaturally Gora Indian Boy. He wasn't very handsome, or good looking, or have a nice voice, but All the aunties loved him because Gora-Boy was so unbelievably Gora.
His mother used to introduce him to all her friends proudly, and they used to remark on Gora's boys Gora-ness. She proudly used to say "he takes after me" and all the other aunties would smile and nod, and give Gora-Boy 10 pound notes in return for pulling tightly at his cheeks.
One day, Gora-Boy was travelling on the train with his friends to Paris. Sitting behind him was White-Kid, who was called Richard. Richard had dark hair, and spoke in a funny way because his father was one quarter Indian.
Gora-Boy sat opposite to some nice, Indian girls on the train, who naturally thought he was so handsome just because he was Gora, and for no other reason. He made them laugh because he could do really good impressions of Indian Uncles. He was especially funny when he more...
From a women:
1. The nice men are ugly.
2. The handsome men are not nice.
3. The handsome and nice men are gay!!!!!!
4. The handsome nice, and hetrosexual men, are married.
5. The men are not so handsome, but nice, have no money.
6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice, with money think we are only about their money.
7. The handsome man without money are after our money.
8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, dont think we are beautiful enough. .. 9. The men who are some what handsome somewhat nice, and have some money and thanks God are heterosexual, are shy. ..... AND NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE
10. The men who never make the first move automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative..
The old spinster was rocking on her front porch with her tomcat at her feet, when a good fairy suddenly appeared before her and offered her three wishes.
"Aw, go on," the little old lady said in disbelief, "if you can grant three wishes, let's see you turn this rocking chair into a pile of gold?"
The good fairy waved her hand, and "pouf", the rocking chair turned into a pile of pure gold. Her face lighting up, the lady said "I really get two more wishes?"
"Yes", the good fairy assured her. "Anything your heart desires."
"Then make me into a beautiful, voluptuous young woman." Another wave of her hand, and the wish was granted.
"Finally, make my faithful old cat into a tall, dark and handsome young man."
The good fairy waved her hand and disappeared as the third wish came true, and a handsome muscular young man stood where the tomcat had just been sleeping.
The young man more...
She was, without question, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life. He gulped down the last of his Martini and, without hesitation, walked to where she sat at the end of the bar.
"You must forgive my rudeness," he said, "but when I beheld you sitting here, all wrapped round in white fur, and lights dancing in your hair like stars, I had to speak to you. I've never gazed upon such beauty before. I want to lay Manhattan at your feet, buy you jewels, exotic perfumes and a thousand other wondrous things. If you bid me welcome, we will fly this very night to Paris, then on to Venice, Rome, India and finally Egypt for a trip down the Nile."
The young lady was utterly taken with this handsome stranger who stood before her, with bronzed face, hair prematurely graying at the temples, dark suit cut exactly so. She was quite literally speechless and could manage only a breathless "Yes, yes.. . . "
"Then go prepare yourself, my more...
The old spinster was rocking on her front porch with her tomcat at her feet, when a good fairy suddenly appeared before her and offered her three wishes."Aw, go on," the little old lady said in disbelief, "if you can grant three wishes, let's see you turn this rocking chair into a pile of gold?"The good fairy waved her hand, and "pouf", the rocking chair turned into a pile of pure gold. Her face lighting up, the lady said "I really get two more wishes?""Yes", the good fairy assured her. "Anything your heart desires.""Then make me into a beautiful, voluptuous young woman." Another wave of her hand, and the wish was granted."Finally, make my faithful old cat into a tall, dark and handsome young man."The good fairy waved her hand and disappeared as the third wish came true, and a handsome muscular young man stood where the tomcat had just been sleeping.The young man approached the once-old lady, took her in more...