Hannukah Jokes

The recently-released Iraq Study Group Report noted that, realistically, one day of Middle Eastern oil is still just one day of oil. The report therefore recommends that Hannukah should be limited to 24 hours. "We can't count on the miracle of the Maccabees this time around," said former Secretary of State James Baker.

Baker is currently negotiating an Oil-for-Candles-Candles swap with Syria.

Symbols associated with pagan winter rituals are under religious attack. Holiday trees decorated with lights and balls were removed for two weeks from Seattle’s Sea-Tac Airport. This action was taken after threat of lawsuit by observant, Orthodox Jews seeking the addition of the menorah, used for the Jewish winter holiday, Hannukah.

Within days, non-observant Jews complained loudly about lack of cheer in the airport’s mall. A traveler seen with bags of candy coins, a traditional Hannukah gift, grabbed the public address system to declare, “This place looks like s--- without the trees.” The trees were returned the next day.