Happiest Jokes / Recent Jokes

“Congratulations my boy! ” said the groom’s uncle. “I’m sure you’ll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life. ” “But I’m not getting married until tomorrow. ” Protested his nephew. I know, ” replied the uncle, “that’s exactly what I mean. ”

BOY: Since we met, I can't eat or drink...
GIRL: Why not? ?
BOY: I'm broke.
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BOY: May I hold your hand??
GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy.

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GIRL: Did you miss me while I was away??
BOY: Were you away??

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GIRL: Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night??
BOY: What time was it??

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GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY: You love me...

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GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY: Sure, what's your phone number??

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GIRL: I think the poorest people are the happiest..
BOY: Then marry me and we'll be the more...

Bob's father and friends were throwing him the best bachelor party ever. There were hookers and strippers, tons of food, and best of all, some great porno flicks.

Feeling the beer, Bob's dad stands up and hollers to get everyone's attention.

"I want to propose a toast to my son! Bob, I'm so glad I could be here with you on the happiest day of your life."

"But, Pop," Bob said, I'm not getting married until tomorrow!"

Bob's dad interrupted and said, "Like I said, I'm so glad I could be here with you on the happiest day of your life."

"Congratulations my boy!" said the groom's uncle. "I'm sure you'll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life."
"But I'm not getting married until tomorrow," protested his nephew.
"I know," replied the uncle.

A duck walks into a bar. He looks like the happiest duck in the world. The bartender asks, "Why are you so happy today?"
The duck replies, "I've been playing in puddles all day." The duck proceeds to order a beer and enjoy it at the bar.
A little while later another duck walks in the bar. He looks like the second happiest duck in the world. The bartender asks, "Why are you so happy today?"
The duck gives the bartender the same answer, "I've been playing in puddles all day." This duck also orders a beer and enjoys it at the bar.
A third duck enters the bar, the total opposite of the first two ducks. He looks like the saddest duck in the world. The bartender asks the duck, "What's wrong with you?"
The duck replies, "My name is Puddles and I've had a terrible day."