Harder Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once upon a time there was a young man called harder harder he was trying out sex with a girl she said,"harder harder" the bums came in the room and then said, "harder harder."

One day a young just married couple were driving in their audi TT. Their names were Harder (male) and Fuck Me (female).

Harder and Fuck me needed some cash, so they stopped at a local bank. Harder
ran in to the ATM while Fuck Me waited in the car.

A strange man with an obvious giant boner walks up to the window and says "Hi, whats your name?" and she answers "Fuck Me". So he says "Ok" and gets in the car and screws her.

She starts screaming "Harder Harder Harder!!!" And then he says "Lady I can't fuck that hard!"

-Jessica

Two daughters had been given parts in a Christmas pageant at their Church. At dinner that night, they got into an argument as to who had the most important role.
Finally the 14 year old said to her 8 year old younger sister, "Well, you just ask Mom. She'll tell you it's much harder to be a virgin than it is to be an angel."

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse and a miniskirt and high heels. My measurements are 36-24-36. I work out every day. I'm toned and perfect. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought at Walmart. I am also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner - it smells a little funny.
Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK.
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm gulping. I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are more...

I had a near death experience yesterday afternoon that has changed me forever. I went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse starts bouncing out of control. I tried with all my might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things couldn't possibly get worse, my foot gets caught in the stirrups...
When this happened I fell head first to the ground. My head continued to bounce harder and harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down.
Just as I was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Walmart Manager came out and unplugged it!

I had a near death experience that has changed me forever. The other day I went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. I tried with all my might to hang on, but was thrown off.
Just when things could not possibly get worse, my foot got caught up in the stirrup. When this happened, I fell head first to the ground. My head continued to bounce harder and harder, and the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as I was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Wal-Mart manager came out and unplugged it.
Thank God for heros.

What part of the human body," asked the anatomy professor, "is harder than steel?" Nobody in the class volunteered the information, so he looked in the direction of a sweet coed and asked, "Can you tell me, Miss Riley?"
She blushed a deep scarlet and lowered her eyes, murmuring, "Oh, please don't ask me to answer that, professor!"
Crisply, he said, "The answer is the tissue of the nails. And you, Miss Riley," he added with a sigh, "are an optimist."