Hardest Jokes

A bear, a lion and a chicken sitting talking about who is the hardest. The bear says when I roar - the whole forest trembles, the lion says when I roar - the whole jungle shakes with fear, the chicken says all I have to do is cough and the whole fuckin world shits itself!!

Three morticians were having a few drinks one night and started discussing their hardest cases. The first said I believe I had the hardest. I had a young man that ran into a tree, it took a week before I could show him.
The second smiled, "That's nothing" he said. I had this couple that hit a train. It took two weeks before I could show them.
The third grinned and said "You two didn't have anything, I had a woman who jumped off a ten story building. She landed on a fire hydrant. It took me three weeks to get the smile off her face.

What's the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse? The ground!

The hardest thing in life is to do nothing... you never know when your finished.

What's the hardest part of making monster soup? Stirring it.