Hare Jokes / Recent Jokes
Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
Walk softly and carry a big carrot
Everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
There's no such thing as too much candy.
All work and no play can make you a basket case.
A cute little tail attracts a lot of attention.
Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day.
Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits.
Somebody parts should be floppy.
Keep your paws off other people's jellybeans.
The grass is always greener in someone else's basket.
An Easter bonnet can tame even the wildest hare.
To show your true colors you have to come out of your shell.
The best things in life are still sweet and gooey!
On a real estate agent's car: "Site-seeing bus."
On the sales lot for mobile homes: "Wheel Estate."
In a public utilities office: "We're Pleased to Meter You!"
In a TV repair shop: "Do it yourself - then call us."
In a doctor's office: "The doctor is very busy - please have your symptoms ready."
In front of a school: "In the event of an atomic attack, the federal ruling against prayer in this school is temporarily suspended."
In an obstetrician's office: "Pay As You Grow."
At a mechanic's shop: "Let me brake you, muffle you, and shock you."
On a campus job board: "Hotel workers wanted. Only the inn-experienced need apply."
By entrance to a maternity shop: "Clothes for the wait conscious."
In a pet shop window: "Hare ye! Hare ye! Have Easter bunnies. Hop to it!"
On a church bulletin board: "Work for the Lord. The pay isn't much, more...
Bad Jokes The following riddles and jokes were made up by BADJOKE. EXE, an MS-DOSprogram. You probably haven't heard most of them. Please try not to laughtoo hard and feel free to flame as much as you like--we are all likepassengers on the deck of the Titanic discussing what we're going to do whenwe get to shore. How can you tell when a mechanic has been behind your nuclear warhead? There are nubile lambchops all over your pizza! How can you tell when a pope has been coming towards your spaceship? There are laughing travelling salesmen in your banana! How do you get 100 gargoyles into a nuclear warhead? Throw in a lawn sprinkler! Why do motorcycles fold born-again eyeballs? To diaper their skyscrapers! Why do policemen have toilets? So that yaks will disobey them! What do you get when you cross a Barbie doll and a banana? An angry nurse! What did the Democrat say to the kettle drum?" Ignore my eyeball, you square baby!"What did the finger say ot the lawn sprinkler?" more...
Once upon a time, in the Christmas Tree Forest there lived the
Christmas fairies. They spent most of their time practising
sitting on top of the Christmas trees. There was just one rule
they had to stick to... it was strictly forbidden for a fairy to
kiss anyone! The trouble was that Floella was a wicked little fairy. One day
Harry the Hare was hopping through the forest when he saw Floella
sitting on top of a toadstool, combing her hair. Floella said,
"Hello, handsome, give us a kiss!"
Harry the Hare was shocked. "Father Christmas doesn't allow that!"
he gasped. "Anyone caught kissing a fairy will be turned straight
away into Goon!"
But Floella tickled his ears - just the way hares love and
whispered, "Don't worry, we won't get caught!"
Harry the Hare trembled with fear and excitement. He looked
carefully over his furry brown shoulder, saw that no one more...
One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race. The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge. It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line. So the tortoise is still the champion of the race. So remember this you snooze you loose!
Q: What is a dog's favorite Easter terat?
A: Jelly bones!
Q: What has big ears, brings Easter terats, and goes hippity-BOOM< hippity-BOOM?
A: The Easter Elephant.
Q: How should you send a letter to the Easter Bunny?
A: By hare mail!
Q: What do you need if your chocolate eggs mysteriously disappear?
A: You need an eggsplanation!
Q: How did the soggy Easter Bunny dry himself?
A: With a hare dryer!
Q: How is the Easter Bunny like Michael Jordan?
A: They're both famous for stuffing baskets!
Q: What's red and blue and sogs up your Easter basket?
A: Colored scrambled eggs!
Q: Did you hear about the farmer who fed crayons to his chickens?
A: He wanted them to lay colored eggs!
Q: What did one colored egg say to the other?
A:' Heard any good yolks lately!'
Q: What's big and purple and hugs your Easter basket?
A: The Easter Barney!
Q: How does the Easter Bunny paint all of those eggs?
A: He more...