Hats Jokes / Recent Jokes
A guy was standing in front of the gorilla cage at his local zoo when along came a gust of wind which swept some dust into his eye. The guy rubbed his eyelid which sent the gorilla crazy. He bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless.
When the guy finally came to his senses, he reported the incident to the zookeeper. The zookeeper nodded knowingly as he explained that pulling down your eyelid means "screw you" in gorilla language. Obviously this didn't make the victim feel all that compensated for what had happened so he vowed revenge.
The next day, shopping list in hand, he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two party horns, and a large sausage. Placing the sausage in his pants, off he hurried to the zoo and went right up to the gorilla's cage where he opened up his bag of goodies. Of course he knew that gorillas were natural mimics so he proceeded to put on one of the party hats. As expected, the gorilla looked at him, reached through the bars, grabbed more...
(Passing requires 4 correct answers...)
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get catgut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Atlantic are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
Quiz Answers:
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get catgut? Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Atlantic are named after what animal? Dogs
7) What was King George VI's more...
Drinking around the Christmas tree at the Christmas party rush,
Faces are hung o'er the balcony, everybody is a lush.
Drinking around the Christmas tree, let the Christmas drunkards
through,
Later we'll do some vomiting, and our arms will hug the loo.
You will get an upset stomach feeling when you taste
Vodka through your nose, oh golly,
Deck the halls with boughs of holly.
Drinking around the Christmas tree, your hangover's on its way,
Everybody's wearing ice pack hats in the new old-fashioned way.
(drunken sax solo.)
You will get an upset stomach feeling when you taste
Vodka through your nose, oh golly,
Deck the halls with boughs of holly.
Drinking around the Christmas tree, your hangover's on its way,
Everybody's wearing ice pack hats in the new old-fashioned way.
A man selling hats went to a jungle for a rest. A monkey came and stole a hat. The man couldn't catch the monkey. He realized the monkey followed the man's actions. He threw the hat to the ground. The monkey threw the hat to the ground. He picked up both hats and went away.
The man then had a grandson who followed the family business and sold hats. The grandson went to a jungle to rest while selling hats. A monkey came and stole a hat. The grandson thought of his grandfather's story, and threw the hat on the floor. The monkey ran and picked up the hat. It then slapped the grandson, saying, "You think you're the only one having a grandfather?"
A kid is at the dinner table and he says, "Mom, I'm gay."
She says, "Does that mean you suck men's cocks?"
He says, "Yes."
She says, "Don't ever complain about my cooking again."
How can you get AIDS from a toilet seat?
By sitting down before the last guy gets up.
What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats?
Cowboy hats are for ass holes.
What's the most perverse thing Tarzan could do to Cheetah?
Feed him a pink banana
What's the difference between pussy and apple pie?
You can eat your Mom's apple pie.