Headline Jokes / Recent Jokes

A preacher wanted to raise money for his church,
and being told there was a fortune in horse
racing, he decided to purchase a horse and enter
it in the races. However, at the local auction,
the going price for horses was so high that the
preacher settled on a donkey instead. The preacher
figured, since he bought the animal, he might as
well race it. To his great surprise, the donkey
did quite well and came in third place. The next
day, the racing sheets carried this headline: Preacher Shows AssThe preacher was so pleased with the donkey that
he entered it in the races again, and this time
the animal won first place. The paper said: Preacher's Ass Out In FrontThe Bishop was so upset with this kind of
publicity that he ordered the preacher not to
enter the donkey in any more races. The newspaper
printed this headline: Bishop Scratches Preacher's AssThis was too much for the Bishop and he ordered
the preacher to get rid of the more...

Headline: "Half of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation"

The editor of a small weekly newspaper, in a rage over several government bills that had recently been passed, ran a scathing editorial under the headline: "half of OUR LEGISLATORS ARE CROOKS." Many prominent local politicians were outraged, and tremendous pressure was exerted on him to retract the statement. He finally succumbed to the pressure and ran an apology with the headline: "HALF OF OUR LEGISLATORS ARE NOT CROOKS."

Deciding to take a day off from his important job, a young hot-shot broker went back to visit some of his professors at his old school. Entering the school, he saw a dog attacking a small child. He quickly jumped on the dog and strangled it.
The next day, the local paper reported the story with the headline "Valiant Student Saves Boy From Fearsome Dog."
The broker called the editor of the paper and strongly suggested that a correction be issued, pointing out that he was no longer a student, but a successful Wall Street broker.
The following day, the paper issued a correction, with a headline that read, "Pompous Stock Broker Kills School Mascot."

A preacher wanted to raise money for his church, and having been told that there was a fortune to be made in horse racing, he decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. At the local auction, however, the going price for a horse was so steep that he ended up buying a donkey instead.
The preacher decided that he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races, and to his surprise, the donkey came in third. The next day, the racing sheets carried the following headline: PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS.
The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in another race, and this time it won. The headlines blared: PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT.
The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher to not enter the donkey in any more races. The newspaper printed this headline: BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS.
This was just too much for the bishop, and he ordered the preacher to get rid of the animal. The preacher decided to give it more...