Healing Jokes / Recent Jokes

An elderly couple are watching the 700 Club. The evangelist is getting really worked up, and it's soon time for the healing portion of the show.

"If you believe in the healing power of the Lord, place on hand on the television, and one hand on the part of your body that ails you!"
The old man places one hand on the television and one hand on his groin.

"Oh, don't be stupid!" says the old woman. "He said heal, not raise the dead!"

Three nurses died and went to Heaven. They were met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter, who questioned them."What did you used to do back on Earth?" he asked the first nurse. "Why do you think you should be allowed into Heaven?"She told him, "I was a nurse at an inner city hospital. I worked to bring healing and peace to many sufferers, especially poor children.""Very noble. You may enter." And he ushered her through the gates. He asked the same questions to the next nurse."I was a missionary nurse in the Amazon. For many years I worked with a small group of doctors and nurses to help people in numerous tribes, healing them and telling them of God's love." The second nurse replied."Excellent!" said St. Peter. And he ushered her through the gates as well. Finally he posed his questions to the third nurse.
She hesitated, then explained, "I was just a nurse at an HMO."St. Peter considered her answer for a moment, more...

Three nurses died and went to Heaven. They were met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter, who questioned them.
"What did you used to do back on Earth?" he asked the first nurse. "Why do you think you should be allowed into Heaven?"
She told him, "I was a nurse at an inner city hospital. I worked to bring healing and peace to many sufferers, especially poor children."
"Very noble. You may enter." And he ushered her through the gates. He asked the same questions to the next nurse.
"I was a missionary nurse in the Amazon. For many years I worked with a small group of doctors and nurses to help people in numerous tribes, healing them and telling them of God's love." The second nurse replied.
"Excellent!" said St. Peter. And he ushered her through the gates as well. Finally he posed his questions to the third nurse.
She hesitated, then explained, "I was just a nurse at an HMO."
St. Peter more...

An elderly couple was watching a show where a preacher was
talking about the healing powers of God.
"To all of those who are ailed by some sickness, place your hand on the screen & I will heal you!" the preacher exclaimed.
The old lady, who was having some stomach problems, placed her hand on the top of the T.V.
The old man placed his hand on the T.V. also, then stuck his hand deep into his pants.
His wife looks over at him and says, "Gordon, the preacher is talking about healing the sick, not raising the dead!"