Hear Jokes / Recent Jokes
Did you hear about the Polish family that froze to death outside a theater? They were waiting to see the movie "Closed for the Winter."
Customer: "Your sound card is defective and I want a new one." Tech Support: "What seems to be the problem?" Customer: "The balance is backwards. The left channel is coming out of the right speaker and the right channel is coming out the left. It's defective!" Tech Support: "You can solve the problem by moving the left speaker to the right side of the machine and vice versa." Customer: (sputter) (click) Tech Support: (snicker)***I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. For instance, green is a combination of cyan and yellow, but green printed fine.Every color of the rainbow printed fine except for yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges. I had the customer delete and reinstall the more...
Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? She missed.
Three men are in a hot air balloon. Soon, they find themselves lost in a canyon
somewhere.
One of the three men says, "I have got an idea. We can call for help in this
canyon and the echo will carry our voices far." He leans over the basket and
yells out, "Helllloooooo! Where are we?"
They hear the echo several times. 15 minutes later, they hear this echoing
voice, "Helllloooooo! You are lost!"
One of the men says, "That must have been a mathematician."
Puzzled, one of the other men asks, "Why do you say that?"
The man replies, "For three reasons: 1) he took a long time to answer, 2) he was
absolutely correct, and 3) his answer was absolutely useless."
Did you hear about the two radio antennas that got married?
The wedding was terrible, but the reception was excellent!
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him "Sum Ting Wong".
A woman was concerned that her prize-winning Schnauzer was going deaf. When she called him, he wouldn't come. When she took him out for a walk, he wouldn't heel like he had been taught to do. As a matter of fact, when the dog wasn't looking and she called him, he acted like he didn't hear her at all. So, she took him to the vet.
The vet looked the dog over and gave him a complete physical. "There's nothing wrong with your dog at all," he said. "Look here. He has excessive hair growing in his ears, which led you to believe that he's deaf. He can't hear you, but he isn't deaf. This can be treated with a depilatory. I haven't any in stock, but you can buy some 'Neet' or 'Nair' at your local pharmacy. It will work just as well as the doggy brand will."
So the lady went to the nearest store and picked up a small bottle of Nair and read over the instructions. There was nothing on the carton that related to her dog so she took it to the druggist and asked his more...