Heart Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde is explaining to her girlfriend the bad day she'd had at work, that her boss had suffered a heart attack and died.
"How horrible" said the friend, "what did you do?"
The blonde replies, "Well there was nothing I could do, he kept yelling at me to call 9-1-1, but he wouldn't tell me the rest of the numbers!"

A businessman comes home for lunch to his high rise apartment and while he's putting his key in the door, his wife is in bed with another guy, and hears the door. It's my husband! she exclaimed. Panicked, the guy runs, naked, looking for a place to hide. He decides on the refrigerator and gets inside of it.

Meanwhile, the husband, suspecting his wife of cheating, demands to know where the guy is hiding. He tears the apartment up, then in a rage, picks up the fridge and throws it out the window. The strain caused him to have a massive heart attack and he dies. At the gates of Heaven, he is greeted by St Peter and is asked, "How did you die?"

He replies, "I came home from work, thought my wife had a man in the apartment, got pissed, threw the fridge out the window, had a heart attack and died"

St Peter wrote this in his book, then asked this naked guy beside of the businessman hiw he had died. The guy says, "Well, I was just more...

A blonde is explaining to her girlfriend the bad day she'd had at work, that her boss had suffered a heart attack and died.
"How horrible" said the friend, "what did you do?"
The blonde replies, "Well there was nothing I could do, he kept yelling at me to call 9-1-1, but he wouldn't tell me the rest of the numbers!"

Lesson Number One A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. Lesson Number Two A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was more...

My Dearest Susan,
Sweetie of my heart. I've been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devastated. Won't you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never marry another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won't you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so.
Yours always and truly,
John
P. S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.

Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.

My Dearest Susan,
Sweetie of my heart. I’ve been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devastated. Won’t you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never marry another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won’t you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so.
Yours always and truly,
John
P. S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.