Heated Jokes

Two women who met in the park were busily chatting about their
sons. My sons a doctor exclaimed the first women. He has a
beautiful big house, a Rolls and a BMW, a heated swimming pool
and a tennis court. After bragging about her son she asks the
second woman' What does your son do?'
Well actually my sons a homosexual, said the second woman.
OH I am sorry said the first women.
No need to be sorry said the second woman, he's done very well
for himself. He lives with a rich doctor who has a big house, a
rolls and a BMW, a lovely heated swimming pool and a tennis court.

After a heated exchange during a trial, the judge asked both counselors to approach the bench.
"Your Honor," said lawyer Cox, "I objected because my distinguished colleague was badger-ing the witness. It's obvious he's never heard of the Bill of Rights."
"Rubbish!" snapped attorney Updike. "I happen to know them by heart."
Cox cocked a disbelieving brow. "Do you, now? Well, Updike, I have a hundred dollars! that says you can't even tell me the first iew words."
Bristling, Updike accepted the challenge and began, "I pledge allegiance to the flag.. .."
"Damn," Cox interrupted, fishing the money from his pocket, "I didn't think you'd know it."

Craig Donaldson, 17, of Glasgow, Scotland had a little too much time on his hands. One saturday morning in October of 1999 while his parents had left the house to go car shopping, Craig was overcome by the sort of sexual desire only a deprived 17 year old boy could have.

He decided that his usual "self service" material consisting of a back issue of Playboy was not enough and he had become very frustrated. Just then he remembered a story that his friend Jed had told him about a woman in a pornographic movie who had applied peanut butter to her genitals and allowed a trained dog to "clean" it off of her.

Probably thinking to himself, "mom and dad won't be home for hours!", Craig headed upstairs to the kitchen only stopping to let Max, the family's 4 year old doberman pinscher inside the house. Craig searched for some peanut butter but couldn't find any, in fact there was no fruit jam or margarine either.

However, Craig did more...

chocolate oven and kettel
central heated fridge
dry water
central heated igloos
cordless bunjee rope
The water-proof towel
Glow in the dark sunglasses
Solar powered flashlights
Submarine screen doors
A book on how to read
Inflatable dart boards
A dictionary index
Powdered water
Pedal powered wheel chairs
Water proof tea bags
Watermelon seed sorter
Zero proof alchohol
Reusable ice cubes
See through tiolet tissue
Skinless bananas
Do it yourself roadmap
Helicopter ejector seat

Monday's Democratic presidential debate was marked by heated exchanges between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

In fact, it was the most hot and heavy action Hillary has had since her wedding night.