Heavy Jokes / Recent Jokes

To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of them absent.
To know yourself is the ultimate form of aggression.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
Too light for heavy work and too heavy for light work.
Treat people as if they are what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of being.
Trust everybody... then cut the cards.
Try to be the best of whatever you are, even if what you are is no good.
Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.
Two heads are more numerous than one.

Once a travelling salesmen was on his way to a remote place, of course he knew of an Inn which will take him. a friend of him gave the location. However due to heavy wind and rain he could not reach the place, so he thought of finding an alternate arrangment. while walking he came to a small farm house, knowing that he can't travel any more, he knnocked the door.
A lady above middle age of not so good looking with a sad face opened the door. So he asked her "Mam, can I stay over night, the weather is so foul I don't think I can make it to the Inn. she say "Sir the only spare room I had I have given ti to this young couple who came in a moment before, however if it is OK you can stay with the baby in her room".
He thought for a while and it struck to him"what if the baby does PEE on him at sleep or be a nuisance all night'. So he asks the lady "mam I don't like to be disturbing her, rather if you could allow me sleep in the barn I'll be out of here by more...

How do heavy metal bands surf the web? On the Din-ternet.

Q: How do you get a heavy metal guitarist to stop playing guitar?
A: Put sheet music in front of him.

Q: How do you get a heavy metal guitarist to stop playing guitar? A: Put sheet music in front of him.

Put yourself in racing commentator mode and read this...!
_The Line up_:
In lane 1. Passionate Lady
In lane 2. Bare Belly
In lane 3. Silk Panties
In lane 4. Conscience
In lane 5. Jockey Shorts
In lane 6. Clean Sheets
In lane 7. Thighs
In lane 8. Big Willy
In lane 9. Heavy Bosom
In lane 10. Merry Cherry
/*/AND THEY'RE OFF!!!/*/
Conscience is left behind at the gate.
Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry.
Heavy Bosom is being pressured.
Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs //and//...
Big Willy is in a dangerous spot
/*/AT THE HALFWAY MARK:/*/
It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and
Big Willy is pushing in.
Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets.
Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly //and//...
Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Willy.
**/AT THE FINAL TURN:/**
Merry Cherry pops under the more...

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic? A: Heavy psychedelics.