Heck Jokes / Recent Jokes

Michael "Heck of Job" Brown, the former FEMA chief blamed the breakdown in the response to Hurricane Katrina right at the Bush administration's feet. He said that his biggest regret was that he wasn't candid enough about the lack of a coherent federal response plan. That, and the fact that he was totally incompetent.

A guy is walking through Chinatown in New York. He is fascinated by all the Chinese restaurants, the shops, the signs and banners on all the buildings.
He is having the greatest time just walking and looking around. He turns a corner and sees a building with a sign that says. ... .. "Hans Olafsen's Laundry."
"Hans Olafsen?" he thinks. "How in the world does that fit in here?"
So, he walks into the shop and sees and old Chinese gentleman sitting in the corner. The visitor asks "How in the world did this place get a name like Hans Olafsen's Laundry?"
The old man says, "Is name of owner."
The visitor asks, "Who in the heck is the owner?".
"I am he," answers the old man.
"You, how in the heck did you ever get a name like Hans Olafsen?".
The old man replies..."Many years ago, when come to this country, I standing in line at immigration office. Man in front was big more...

A man was driving down a local street one day and approached a stop sign. He barely slowed down and ran right through the stop sign after glancing for traffic.

What the driver didn`t know was that a policeman was watching the intersection. The policeman pulled out after him and stopped the car two blocks away.

Policeman: "License, registration and proof of insurance please."

Driver: "Before I give it to you, tell me what the heck you stopped me for, man."

Policeman: "Watch your tone sir; you ran the stop sign back there!!"

Driver: "Man, I slowed down, what the heck is the difference!?!"

The police officer pulled out his night stick and began smashing it over the man`s head and shoulders.

Policeman: "Now, do you want me to just slow down or stop!!!?

This guy is walking through Chinatown. He is fascinated with all the Chinese Restaurants, the Chinese shops, the Chinese signs and banners on the buildings. He is having the best time just walking and looking. He turns a corner and sees a building with a sign "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry"." Hans Olaffsen?", he thinks. "How in the world does that fit in here?". So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting in the corner.. The visitor asks, "How in the world did this place get a name like Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?". The old man answers "Is name of owner." The visitor asks "Well, who in the heck is the owner?". "I am he", answers the old man. "You? How in the heck did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?" The old man replies, "Many years ago when I come to this country, I was standing in line at Documentation Center. Man in front of me was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go more...

December 8
6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by more...