Iowa Jokes

A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Iowa He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The attorney responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going in to retrieve it." The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here. "The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U. S.; and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own. " The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Iowa. We settle small disagreements like this with the Iowa Three-Kick Rule." The lawyer asked, "What is this three-kick Rule? "The farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until more...

Four guys were driving cross country together-one from Idaho, one from Iowa,
one from Florida and the last one from New York.
A bit down the road the man from Idaho starts to pull potatoes from his bag
and begins throwing them out the window.
The man from Iowa turns to him and asks "What the hell are you doing?". The
man from Idaho says, "Man, we have SO MANY of these damned things in Idaho,
they're laying on the ground - I'm sick of looking at them!!!"
A few miles down the road, the man from Iowa begins pulling husks of corn
from his bag and throwing them out the window.
The man from Florida asks "What are you doing that for?". The man from Iowa
replies, "Man, we have so many of these damned things in Iowa that I am SICK
of looking at them!!"
Inspired by the others, the man from Florida opens the car door and pushes
the New Yorker out!

It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp. A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public. Kisses may last for no more than five minutes. One-armed piano players must perform for free. Any hotel in the city limits must have a water bucket and a hitching post in front of the building. The "Ice Cream Man" and his truck are banned. The fire department is required to practice fire fighting for fifteen minutes before attending a fire. Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants Within the city limits, a man may not wink at any woman he does not know.

Two college friends, one from New York and one from Iowa, come of age during summer break. The New York boy's father presents him with a new pistol. Meantime, the Iowa boy receives a beautiful gold watch.

The next semester in their dorm room, the two boys are showing each other what they got. They each liked what the other one got, so, they traded.

That night, when the New York boy phones home, he tells his father about the watch, and explains that he and Sammy traded.

The father blows his top. "Whats a matta you! You a stupid college kid? Some day, you maybe gonna get married. Then maybe some day you gonna come home and find your wife in bed with another man. What you gonna do then? Look at your watch and say,' How long you gonna be?'"

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Iowa!
Iowa who?
Iowa you a dollar!